Jill Williamson is a chocolate loving, daydreaming, creator of kingdoms. She writes weird books in lots of weird genres like fantasy (Blood of Kings and Kinsman Chronicles), science fiction (Replication), and dystopian (The Safe Lands trilogy). She’s currently writing a post-apocalyptic book with all of you called THIRST in conjunction with the #WeWriteBooks series.
Recap
Week four: maps and floorplans.
Week five: protagonists and main characters.
Week six: side characters.
Week seven: prewriting.
Week eight: plot structures.
Week nine: Theme.
Week ten: creating a plot outline or list of key scenes.
Week eleven: point of view.
Week twelve: narrative modes.
Week sixteen: Dividing Your Book Into Chapters and Scenes Week seventeen: Write Fast and Free
Week eighteen: Dialogue and Thought
Today’s Topic: Writing Action
Action is the third narrative tool of fiction that helps you communicate your story to the reader. Action is description in motion: the play-by-play of events shown as they happen and that ultimately shows the passing of time. This is the action that the character lives thorough moment by moment that helps readers feel as if they are there, participating in the story. Action can vary from a simple hand gesture or a leisurely procession across the country to an intense fight scene or car chase.
Fiction should happen in order: action first, then reaction. If you want the reader to connect with your story, the reader needs to experience the action in a logical way. When important actions are left out of a scene or when action seem to happen backwards, you risk confusing the reader.
Look for sentences that have the actions happening out of order and rearrange them.
Better example: I opened my eyes to a dark room.
Better example: The prince swung his sword, and the squire ducked. The sword slashed over his head.
Watch out for times that you’re written simultaneous actions or used words like: as, when, while, after, and continued to. Most of the time these words can and should be omitted. If you do use them, use them rarely and make sure to arrange the sentence so that events happen in a logical order: action first, then reaction.
Better example: Luke rode his bike into the street, and the car skidded to a stop.
Better example: Beth dropped her ice cream cone and cried.
Starting a sentence with a word that ends in “ing” implies that everything in the sentence happens simultaneously, and this can often create physical impossibilities.
Better example: She put on her shoes, grabbed a soda, and drove to school.
Make sure that you include all necessary actions in a scene that involves movement. If you skip over something important, the reader might lose track of where your character is.
Better example: Mike was sitting on the front porch eating jelly beans when it came time for his favorite TV. He went inside and sat on the couch to watch it.
Scene Structure Keeps Action Moving
In Dwight Swain’s book, Techniques of the Selling Writer, he teaches about the structure of scenes, which he divides into two parts: scene and sequel. According to Mr. Swain, a scene is made up of three things that should happen in this, logical order:
2. Conflict- But something starts to thwart that goal.
3. Disaster-Until something kills the goal altogether.
1. Reaction- Your character responds (shock, fear, tears, disbelief) then realizes he can’t stay like that forever.
2. Dilemma- So your character looks at the options before him.
3. Decision- And makes a choice about what to do next.
Let’s see how this might play out in a popular book most everyone is familiar with, The Hunger Games.
Conflict: Prim is now old enough to be included in the reaping, but surely Prim’s name won’t be drawn. Her name is only included once.
Reaction: Katniss is stunned
Dilemma: Until she sees Prim going forward!
Decision: Then Katniss runs up to the stage and volunteers to take Prim’s place.
How about Anne of Green Gables?
Conflict: But Gilbert is whispering to Anne, trying to get her attention despite her ignoring him.
Disaster: And then Gilbert calls her carrots.
Reaction: Anne jumps up, screams at Gilbert, and breaks her slate over his head.
Dilemma: Now Anne is in trouble for her outburst.
Decision: She will never speak to Gilbert Blithe again!
How Does Your Character Process Information?
On Tuesday I talked about making sure that your fiction happens in order. But there’s more to it than simply having the actions and reactions in the right order. The human brain has a method of processing information. It’s important to get this order right so that your narrative feels logical to the reader. So when you write, make sure that your actions and reactions follow the same logical progression that the human brain uses.
“Hello?” she called, her voice barely a croak.
She lay on a stiff and narrow bed. When she tried to sit, she found her arms were bound to the bed. Her heart tumbled within her. “Help! Someone help me!” The words resulted in nothing but a break in the silence around her.
She lifted her head in hopes of getting some sort of bearings. A tall cupboard hung on the wall on her right. Down past her feet, a door stood without a handle or knob. To her left, a glowing blue sheet of glass covered the wall. The surface seemed to ripple with low light.
Her cheek itched, and she turned her head to scratch it with her shoulder. That was when she realized she was wearing a thin white dress. Who would take her clothes? What was going on? “Hello? Is someone there? Please, help me!”
The above scene includes seven full sequences of logical action. I highlighted them so you could see how they are broken down. First, Shaylinn opens her eyes to the white ceiling (1), thinks (3), then speaks (4). The ache in her chest comes out of order, which is a mistake. It should have come in number 1. She notices where she is (1) and tries to sit (4). Then she notices that she’s tied down (1), she feels fear (2), and she calls out (4). When no one answers (1), she lifts her head (4). Here I made another out-of-order mistake with her inner thoughts “in hopes of getting some sort of bearings (3).” This really should have come before she sat up. If I could still edit this book, I would have changed that to: “In hopes of getting some sort of bearings (3), she lifted her head (4).”
Then she notices her surroundings (1). She feels an itch (1), and scratches it (4). Then finally, she notices her clothing (1), wonders how that happened (3), then speaks again (4).
Tips For Pacing Your Action
Whether you want to write a fast-paced scene or linger in a moment, many things can affect the pacing of your action. The following tools can be used to convey different types of pacing.
How to Show Time Passing
How do you show transitions of time in your novel? Months might have passed, or years. Or maybe it’s only been a few minutes.
The cold air stings my face, but today I ignore it. I get lost in the quest for a great shot, and each time I think I’ve snapped one, I remember Jake’s earlier compliment and press on looking for another.
I have so many great shots to make up for. Rolls and rolls of them actually. Silly pictures of our adventures in the city. Of the life I sabotaged with negligence. I don’t let my mind wander too far down that path. When I do, my hands shake and photography becomes impossible. I allow tears only once, and quickly regret it. It takes forty-five minutes to regain my composure.
By midmorning I reach the creek. The shick-shick of my camera’s shutter sends a sparrow flying through the branches of a great red oak. Shouldn’t he have flown south by now?
Unnecessary Action
One thing to watch for with action is over-describing the play by play. I do this. Too often. My character hears a knock at the door. And since I’ve trained myself to “show” and not “tell,” I picture the action that my character does. He gets up. He walks to the door. He opens the door. He sees who is there. The problem is, unless he is terrified to see who is behind that door, the play-by-play of all this action is boring and uselessly taking up space. All I really need to say is: Someone knocked on the door. It was Courtney, bringing me the paper.
Act it out
If you’re uncertain about how something might happen, do your best to act it out. Even if you don’t have swords or horses, you can pretend. And walking yourself through the motions can often help you see things your brain hadn’t imagined in the comfort of your own chair by the computer. Sometimes it helps to gather a volunteer or two. I did this with a scene in Project Gemini. I had Spencer rappelling down a cliff with two people on his back and was struggling with where the ropes were and whose arm might be choking him. So I got my husband and kids to act it out and it really helped.
Writing an Action/Fight Scene
Writing an Epic Battle
Writing the Wizards’ Duel
Dialogue Tags vs. Action Beats
Do You Use Too Many Generic Action Tags?
Moving From One Moment to Another
Assignment time
Are things happening in order in your scene, paragraph, or sentence? Are you missing any vital steps? Look for places where you have simultaneous action and rewrite them. Also, go through one of your actions scenes and edit for pacing, word choice, sentence length, and characterization. Share your discoveries in the comments.