Today on the Go Teen Writers Book Club, we’re discussing “Polish,” chapter eighteen of Story Trumps Structure by Steven James.

Chapter Recap:
This chapter is really about editing in the form of tightening your prose. When polishing a story, every word counts. Anything that doesn’t count should be cut. Trim a word here. A word there. Phrases. Sentences. Entire scenes. Get rid of anything that isn’t good enough or is causing clutter. How do you cut clutter? Mr. James gives the following ideas/examples:

“He walked over toward me” can be edited to, “He approached me.”
Change, “He went out of the building” to “He left.”

Anytime you can use one word over two (or more) is a win. A good place to look is word choice. Mr. James talks specifically about combining verbs and adverbs into one. I’ve always thought about this as choosing the most precise word you can. The word that means exactly the specific thing you’re getting at:

So, change, “I was really mad” to “I was livid.”
And, “He ran quickly” can be changed to “He sprinted.”
“She said softly” becomes, “She whispered.”

Also, cut out telling, especially when you just showed the reader.

For example: The sound of the turning doorknob raised the hairs on the back of Marcie’s neck. She trembled, heart racing, and clutched the baseball bat tighter. She was terrified.”

In situations like the one above, cut the “She was terrified” part because her actions already showed her fear.

What Stood Out:
Mr. James said, “Think of description as a cave. Is it spacious or cavernous? Well, it depends on the mood you’re trying to convey in that sentence. Spacious is a more positive term than cavernous. And that mood should match (1) the attitude your character has toward being in the cave and (2) the overall atmosphere of your novel.”

I love this idea of choosing the right word to fit the mood of the point of view character and what is happening in the scene. It makes me think of an actor staying in character. It’s important that he doesn’t break character so that the audience stays engaged. We need to do the same with our words. We need to choose every word with care so that we do not break character at any time.

Tip of the Week:

“Err on the side of understatement. When it comes to conveying emotion, subtlety is key. ” ~Steven James

This quote reminds me of a lesson it took me a while to learn about telling. I used to tell too much about characters, plot, backstory, and storyworld. I knew all of the interesting things about all of those areas, so I felt like it had to be in the book. I learned the hard way that everything you create does not need to be said in the book.

In fact, when I write a book, I write it as if I am the main character and I already know everything about the other characters, plot, backstory, and storyworld that there is to know. (With the exception of characters my main character hasn’t yet met.) If I (as the charater) already know everything, why would I tell it to myself? I wouldn’t. It’s weird. It’s the author intruding onto the reader’s experience to tell the reader extra things. Readers feel it, and it does not add enjoyment to the story.

So, I now write really sparse rough drafts. I don’t describe anything or anyone. I don’t give backstories or flashbacks. I just write what needs to happen. Then, when I go back to rewrite, I have to add in some description of places and characters and their actions, or information about magic or worldbuilding. But I am careful to add only what is absolutely necessary. That keeps my story trim up front, which means less to trim later on.

Go Teen Writers Archived Articles to Help You Go Deeper:
Cut the Clutter From Your Sentences
#WeWriteBooks, Post 26: The Micro Edit
Be Specific: Aim Small, Miss Small
How to Prune a Manuscript
How to SHOW your story instead of telling it

Questions:
• What was most helpful to you in today’s chapter?
• Do you have any tips for tightening your writing?
• What area do you most struggle with in regard to polishing your writing?
• Any questions?