I don’t use words like always and never very often on the blog, but I feel pretty good about stating this as an absolute: If you stick with writing for long enough, you will go through a hard season.

More than one, I’m guessing.

My first hard season came when I was still trying to get published, and I received a particularly heartbreaking rejection. My book had been under consideration for months, had moved through several parts of the process, and then one day in the mail, a form rejection letter came. A form. All that waiting, all that hoping, and I got nothing more than a vague “Dear Author” letter that they had photocopied and stuck in the mail.

A short time later, I went to Barnes and Noble and felt instantly overwhelmed by how many books were crammed onto the shelves. I thought, “I’m such an idiot for pursuing this. Why would anybody want to publish anything written by me? What can I possibly say that hasn’t been said before?”

Being published doesn’t vanquish hard writing seasons like many pre-published writers assume it will. I’ve gone through multiple hard seasons as a writer since having my first book published, and I’m sure I have more in my future.

If you’re in a challenging season now, I hope these ideas will encourage you through it. If you’re not, yay! I hope you’ll tuck them away for a day in the future when you might need them.

1. Notice it. Name it.

Those insecurities I felt at Barnes and Noble back in 2007? I heard them echoed back to me on my driveway years later by a neighbor. She’d wanted to write for a long time, and was going to her first writers conference. She said to me with a laugh, “I keep thinking it’s silly. Who am I? What can I possibly say that hasn’t been said before?” She didn’t feel like a “real” writer yet, and I had the privilege of telling her the truth. “None of us do. Especially in the beginning.”

Jon Acuff calls those mean thoughts that play on repeat in our head “negative soundtracks”, and it’s been my experience that when you say them out loud—especially to someone who loves and cares about you—they lose their power. (I’ll talk about this more in the next point.) Noticing your negative soundtracks and naming them are great steps for getting them under control.

Sometimes, the best things we can do is to not just raise questions like, “What can I possibly say that hasn’t been said before?” but to actually answer our self. Because what’s the answer to this one? The world is a pretty old place, so yeah, there’s probably nothing you can say that’s truly, 100% original. But that’s not unique to you, right? The same is true for everybody else . . . including the authors of all those books on the shelves!

2. Don’t write alone!

When I go through hard seasons, my tendency is to isolate. To shrink and keep myself closed off from others. But it’s really, really hard to drag myself out of a funk with my own strength.

We need writer and non-writer friends with whom we can be vulnerable. Those negative soundtracks we play for ourselves—getting published is never going to happen for me, I’ve missed my chance, etc.—seem so personal, as if we’re the only ones who are struggling with this. But that’s rarely (dare I say never?) true.

Roseanna White and I have joked that we should just create an email template with the following pep talks to send to each other:

• I know you’re really struggling to find writing time right now, but it’ll get better. This is just a season.
• That editor is an idiot for rejecting your book. It’s amazing! I know it’s going to find a great home.
• I know this didn’t work out the way you hoped it would. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off and tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ideas together?

If I’m feeling discouraged, I’ve learned that the quickest way to bust through it is to turn to a friend like Roseanna or Jill or Shannon. They’ve either gone through the same thing or something similar, and they’re really good at offering me a virtual hug.

3. Learn to celebrate with others.

This one is maybe the toughest on the list.

Sometimes we’re going through a hard season as a writer while other writing friends are seeing loads of success. A few years ago, as I struggled with rejection after rejection, Roseanna was getting contracts for books without even pitching. I’m not kidding. It felt like I was sitting in the desert watching contracts rain down on her.

I was definitely struggling to keep my jealousy in check, and she knew it. We were pretty honest with each other through that season. I would say to her, “I’m about 75% excited for you right now and 25% jealous. I’m hoping to be at 90%/10% by the end of the week.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to be successful, because I absolutely did. I just wanted me to be successful too. I had to accept that it wasn’t my turn. That this was Roseanna’s turn, and that my job as her friend was to be supportive, encouraging, and happy for her.

The Bible talks about mourning with those who mourn. Often that feels easier to me than doing the other thing that verse says: Rejoice with those who rejoice. (Romans 12:15) It’s so critical to learn how to do both, because you and your writing friends won’t always be “even” and you don’t want jealousy to steal a great relationship from you.

4. Consider taking time away from writing.

While it’s true that sometimes I need to push through my laziness, get my booty in my chair, and write, there are other times when I need to give myself time away from my manuscript. Especially if what’s hitting me hard is something like a rough critique or an unexpected rejection.

Sometimes I just need a day or two to get my head right. Other times I need to be more intentional, like giving myself a week off to do other creative things or projects.

In Big Magic Elizabeth Gilbert says:

Einstein called this tactic “combinatory play”–the act of opening up one mental channel by dabbling in another. This is why he would often play the violin when he was having difficulty solving a mathematical puzzle; after a few hours of sonatas, he could usually find the answer he needed. Part of the trick of combinatory play, I think, is that it quiets your ego and your fears by lowering the stakes.

There’s something about continuing to pursue creativity that renews your energy and helps you get unstuck in your writing.

If you’re wanting to take a break, I think it’s helpful to set a date for returning to writing as well as a goal for that day. Like, “I’m taking a break from writing for the next three days, and when I come back, I’ll read through my manuscript and take notes but won’t write yet.” That can make your time away feel more intentional.

5. Define success for yourself.

If number three on this list is the hardest for me, this one is a super close second.

Often when I’m in a hard season with writing, I find that at least part of my problem is I’ve lost track of what I’ve decided makes me successful. I’ve started looking for validation in the wrong places. And the problem with that is the line is always moving. First, it feels like enough to just get published. But then it needs to be with the “right” kind of publishing house. Next, I’m sure I’ll feel successful once I earn out. (This is when your book makes enough money that the publisher starts paying royalties.) And then, I’m sure I’ll feel successful once my book hits a bestseller list. On and on it goes.

Do you see how slippery that slope is? Because there’s literally always another writer in front of you doing something more. Selling more, winning more awards, getting the movie deal, etc.

You have to decide what success looks like to you, because the world will always push you to be more, do more, achieve more, want more, and so on. Austin Kleon, author of Steal Like An Artist said he defines success by enjoying how he spends his days. I love that.

6. Think honestly about your season.

Sometimes for me, my deepest frustrations are born out of me trying to ignore the reality of where I am in life. In my early twenties, I had a wide open schedule. No full time job, no kids, and just a small apartment to take care of. My husband left the house at 7 for work and didn’t come home until after 5. I wrote and wrote and wrote during those years. Fast-forward to five years later when I had a 2 year old, a newborn, and a house to care for. When you see those two scenarios side-by-side, it’s obvious that I shouldn’t have expected myself to be as productive as a mom with two kids as I was when I had no kids, but I frequently felt discouraged by how little I was getting done.

Life is full of different seasons with different demands, and it’s helpful to review your Ws and see if part of the problem is your expectations.

Where am I in life right now?: Sometimes a hard season in writing is born out of a hard or busy season. There’s no sense in pretending like your creativity isn’t impacted by being a full-time student, or having health issues, or sharing a computer with five siblings, or having parents who are going through a divorce.

Also, where are you with writing? If you’re working on your first book, it’s not fair to expect yourself to be Tolkein. There’s nothing wrong with being a beginner, and once you acknowledge the gap between your tastes and your abilities you will hopefully be able to relieve some of the pressure you’re putting on yourself.

When can I write?: Few of us have as much control over our time and schedules as we’d like. If you share a computer, or you work, or you’re in school and sports and theater, consider those commitments when you set expectations for how much you should be able to write.

What do I want to write?: When Roseanna had publishers chasing her with contracts, and I had publishers running away from me, I would say things to my husband like, “What’s wrong with me? I can’t seem to get anything going, and Roseanna gets new contract offers, like, every day.”

And he would patiently say to me, “You write young adult fiction. Roseanna writes historical romance for adults. Do you want to write historical romance for adults?”

“No.”

“Okay, then. They’re different genres with different demands and markets. Stop acting like that’s a fair comparison.”

Like he (almost) always, my husband was totally right. I was trying to ignore or shrug away the realities of writing in my chosen genre, and that wasn’t fair to me.

I’ve talked about this before on the blog, but Shannon Dittemore changed my mindset when she gave me the question, “What kind of writer do I want to be?” It’s a fantastic question to ask yourself regularly.

Why do I write?: This goes back to defining success for yourself. Sometimes when I’m in a hard writing place, it’s because I’ve forgotten that I don’t write for money or attention or critical acclaim or bragging rights. I write because I love it. I write because it’s something that makes me more fully alive. Maybe that won’t always be true. Maybe I will need to write for money at some point in my career. If I do, I’ll have to make different choices than the ones I do now, but that’s fine. The Ws are not static things, which is why they need reviewing from time to time.

7. Focus on habits, not results.

One of my favorite nonfiction books is Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’m rereading it right now, actually, as I work on being more intentional with how I spend my time and energy.

Looking back over my two decades of writing, it’s been this—my focus on developing good systems, on my writing habits—that’s had the greatest impact on my successes. On not just getting through the hard seasons, but emerging on the other side with a finished manuscript or two.

Remember, as Shannon Dittemore says, you’re not just writing a book. You’re growing an author.

Have you gone through creative dips or struggled with writing at times? What has helped you?

Stephanie Morrill writes books about girls who are on an adventure to discover their unique place in the world. She is the author of several contemporary young adult series, as well as two historical young adult novels, The Lost Girl of Astor Street and Within These Lines. Within These Lines was a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard selection, as well as a YALSA 2020 Best Fiction for Young Adults pick. Since 2010, Stephanie has been encouraging the next generation of writers at her website, GoTeenWriters.com, which has been on the Writer’s Digest Best Websites for Writers list since 2017. She lives in the Kansas City area, where she loves plotting big and small adventures to enjoy with her husband and three children. You can connect with Stephanie and learn more about her books at StephanieMorrill.com, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.