Occasionally I see those word lists on Pinterest, Instagram, or even educational sites geared toward teachers or young writers: “Creative words to use instead of said.” On the list are words like exclaimed, retorted, jeered, and other jazzy words.

I understand why it seems like this list would be helpful. Shouldn’t we always be looking for creative word choices? Isn’t expanding the vocabulary we use a good thing? Yes, typically. But said is an exception.

Before I talk about why, I’ll say this: If you are writing stories just for yourself, and you like these creative alternatives to said, use them! Have your characters scream, grind out, and holler all manuscript long. If you are the only audience you need to please, then this post isn’t intended for you.

But, if you’re hoping to be a published writer someday, let’s talk about why those “creative alternatives to said” should be ignored.

Industry professionals, like agents and editors, don’t like those creative alternatives and view them as a signal of weak writing . . . because they often are. We write that our character roared because we’re afraid that exclamation point won’t adequately communicate that. Or that our character hissed, because we want to be 100% sure the reader understands that they’re mad.

There is a better way! I’m about to get to it, but first I want to address a couple of big “buts” that might be running through your head right now.

“But what about this bestseller/classic book I just read that’s full of creative alternatives to said?”

Yep, that’s true. Classics are full of them (I’m looking at you, Agatha Christie) and even some modern bestsellers can have a shocking amount. With classics, we always have to keep in mind that it was a different time with different expectations from the audience. Yes, we can (and should) learn from these authors whose work has outlived them, but what worked for them then won’t always work for us now.

The current bestsellers that are full of creative saids are more of a headscratcher to me. Every agent an editor I’ve spoken to about this issue despises dialogue that’s full of these creative tags, but I’m sure there are some agents and editors who aren’t bothered by them. Or maybe the writers are famous enough that they let them keep their tags. I don’t know.

“But does that mean I can NEVER use alternatives to said?”

That’s NOT what I’m saying! The occasional murmur, whisper, mumble, or yell is completely fine. I’m talking about the overuse of tags (the word “said” can be overused too!) and words that are so creative, they distract from the dialogue itself.

Now that we’ve addressed those issues, let’s talk about the better way:

Action Beats Instead of Dialogue Tags

He said. She said. Those (and their creative counterparts) are dialogue tags. We learned in our elementary school years that when you’re writing a story, this is how you tell your readers who is talking. How will readers know who’s talking if you don’t tag the dialogue?

The answer is beats. The bold text below shows the beats in this section of dialogue:

“Evalina?”

I jump at Mama’s groggy voice. “Hi. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just couldn’t sleep.”

With her puffy eyes, Mama looks at the newspaper in my hand. Her mouth is set in a grim line. “This obsession is not healthy, Evalina. I know you’re worried, but we have nothing to fear. I don’t know what it will take for you to believe that.”

“Mama, they’re going to make all the Japanese go.” My voice cracks. “Even the ones who were born here like the Hamasakis’ children.”

“Who?”

I swallow. I shouldn’t have mentioned them by name. “One of our produce suppliers at Alessandro’s.”

Within These Lines by Stephanie Morrill

Instead of tagging your dialogue, using beats is a much more seamless way to both show who is speaking and what they’re doing.

You’ll also notice in the example that I did not tag AND put a beat in my dialogue. I have a terrible habit of doing that in my first drafts. An example of that would be:

I jump at Mama’s groggy voice. “Hi,” I say. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I just couldn’t sleep.”

The tag is completely unnecessary and just slows the reader down. I do this All. The. Time in first drafts and have to pull them out.

There are definitely times when a tag is the best choice. Often it has to do with cadence of the scene or how many characters you have in the conversation. When you have big group scenes or your character is overhearing the dialogue of two others, then tags become necessary to keep from confusing the readers.

Using beats instead of tags is also a great way to work in description without having to pause the story.

Learning about beats and how to use them was something that drastically improved the quality of my writing. If you haven’t yet incorporated them into your stories, I hope you’ll give them a try!

Stephanie Morrill writes books about girls who are on an adventure to discover their unique place in the world. She is the author of several contemporary young adult series, as well as two historical young adult novels, The Lost Girl of Astor Street and Within These Lines. Within These Lines was a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard selection, as well as a YALSA 2020 Best Fiction for Young Adults pick. Since 2010, Stephanie has been encouraging the next generation of writers at her website, GoTeenWriters.com, which has been on the Writer’s Digest Best Websites for Writers list since 2017. She lives in the Kansas City area, where she loves plotting big and small adventures to enjoy with her husband and three children. You can connect with Stephanie and learn more about her books at StephanieMorrill.com, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.