Man, it feels like forever since How to Write Good Dialogue Parts one and two. In part one we talked about avoiding Q&A sessions, not letting your character say everything they’re thinking, and pacing yourself. In part two we discussed not letting it be all about your main character (MC), being cautious about “info dumps”, and being mindful that characters should speak differently from one another.
Today I’m going to answer some of the questions you guys asked. First I wanted to share this gem of wisdom that comes from Jenna Blake Morris. She says, “One thing that tends to drive my crazy is when authors never use contractions in dialogue, like “I do not know” or “it is in the closet.” Random examples, I know, but unless that character is foreign, from a historical setting, or is clumsy with English, that makes me twitch. Or when they have a young character spouting elegant, unrealistic dialogue.”
That makes me twitch too. This is a mistake I often see in the manuscripts of new writers because they haven’t yet turned off their English teacher’s voice. My AP English teacher – the lovely and brilliant Ms. Bromberg, who told our whole class she believed in me, so don’t get the wrong idea here about my feelings toward her – marked off points every time I used a contraction in an essay. And I found it so hard to refrain from contractions because they SOUND better. I finally just had to turn off that preference, and write the way she wanted me to – no contractions – so I could get an A in my English class.
But after 2 years of not using contractions, it was really difficult to get back in the habit of writing with them. So, yes, use contractions. And only let 4-year-olds use words like “distressing” if they’re Fancy Nancy fans.
My husband and I were at a work party a few weeks ago. (This is an illustration, not a subject change – stick with me!) There were about 20 of us there, and we all ate at one long table.
What happens when you’re at a big table like that? You talk to whomever is across from you or next to you. Maybe you sometimes catch snippets of other conversations going on at the table, and maybe you stop to listen when that policeman is telling a really cool story about a perp he was chasing who fell through the floor. But mostly I was engaged in conversation with the people across from me, and the people next to me.
So, in your manuscripts, you want to achieve a balance of the group talking and side conversations. If the group is talking, it must be a topic that engages most or all members. Like in this scene, my main character, Sabrina, has found herself on a triple date with her two (girl) best friends, a guy they know from work, and two of his friends whom she’s never met. As soon as I wrote myself into this situation, I wanted to write my character right out of there because it was hard to keep up the pacing:
Nate pushes napkins to our side of the table. “You eaten here before, Autumn?”
Autumn blinks, as if confused by why he’s addressing her. “Uh, no.” She turns to me. Apparently she’s designated me as Nate’s date. “Have you, Sabrina?”
“A couple times.” I fiddle with my Queen of hearts. I don’t know why this place doesn’t just take your name or give you a number or something, why they insist on foisting a germy playing card on everyone.
“Their reubens are the best,” Patrick says.
Izzy flicks her 9 of Clubs, makes it spin on the table. “Reubens are disgusting.”
“Agreed.” The-third-guy-whose-name-I-don’t-remember grins at Izzy as if they are officially soul mates. “Sauerkraut is the second grossest food on the planet. I mean, what is it?”
Patrick and I answer at the same time. “Cabbage.”
Patrick flashes those white teeth and dimples at me, but I look away.
“What’s the first grossest food?” Izzy asks with a hint of a smile.
“Cottage cheese.” He actually shudders when he says it.
“No way,” I say. “How’s that possibly grosser than, say, pig’s feet? Or bologna?”
Patrick is still giving me the teeth-and-dimple combo, which must be like a one-two punch for girls like Autumn.
“Or soft boiled eggs?” Nate offers. “Those things freak me out.”
Autumn frowns into her soda. I don’t think this is the kind of conversation she imagined having on our triple quasi-date. She also probably thought she’d be sitting beside Patrick, instead of wedged between me and Izzy, with the boys on the other side of the booth. And with Patrick across from me.
Be strategic about where people sit because those are who your characters will get into side conversations with. Plus you want to optimize tension. Sabrina knows that her friend Autumn likes Patrick, but unbeknownst to everyone else at the table, Patrick asked Sabrina out the day before. She’s super uncomfortable in her seat, which is exactly why it’s the best spot.
If someone isn’t contributing, get them out of there. They need to go to the bathroom or see a friend walking by. Or they need to break into a side conversation with someone else. Like when guy number 3 and Izzy were not moving the story along, I separated them:
“I work at the AMC downtown, and Trent”—Nate jerks his thumb at Boy #3—“works at Hy-Vee.”
Izzy sends her card spinning again. “When people come through your line with cottage cheese, do you shudder?”
Trent grins. “And I make them scan it themselves.”
Izzy smiles full-on, and they lapse into their own volley of other foods that disgust them. Miracle Whip. Spam. Cheetos.
I glance at Patrick, who arches his eyebrows like See? I knew this would work out.
And now, because Izzy and Trent are talking, I only have four people to deal with. Soon Sabrina will receive a phone call and excuse herself.
Group conversations are obviously necessary to breathe life and realism into the story, but too many of them will slow down your plot. You want to cut away from them and focus on your main character as soon as you can.
Okay … was that helpful at all? There are a few more questions to answer – one on writing pauses into dialogue and one on what people say versus what they feel. I’ll get to those on Friday.
Tomorrow is news day! If you have news you’d like to share – finishing a first draft, submitting an article to a magazine, joining a writer’s group – send me an email at Stephanie(at)GoTeenWriters.com to let me know so we can celebrate with you!
Anybody else have dynamite dialogue tips like Jenna’s to share?