If you missed the first part of this post, How to Write an Action Scene, be sure to check it out.
Now that you’ve written out your fight scene, there are some things to consider when you go back in to edit your scene.
1. Believability
Be on cliché alert. We’ve all seen a lot of movies. And most movies are a poor example of real fighting because they’re two dimensional and choreographed. Real fights are chaos. If you catch yourself writing anything you saw in a movie, cut it! And don’t be throwing anyone through a window just because it’s there!
Keep gender in mind. Tough girls rock, don’t get me wrong. But physiologically, men are much stronger and bigger than most women. Sure, a woman can beat a guy, but you’ve got to make it realistic. Most girls cringe at the idea of truly hurting anyone, even in a fight! It’s just in the female nature. With training, however, your girl will have a much better and more realistic chance.
Research weapons and fighting styles. There are great books, websites, and YouTube videos on just about any subject. You can also attend a class and actually fight someone. Getting beat by a skilled fighter will give you some valuable insight. *smile* I once asked my husband to “attack” me… It totally showed me what a weakling I was and freaked me out, too! These experiences helped me feed emotion into my fight scenes.
Remember, real people aren’t perfect. They mess up. Especially in a fight when emotions are running high. And fighting is a horrible thing. It really is. It’s scary and painful. So keep it real.
If your character has a high skill level and you don’t, consider interviewing someone. Here are some things I learned from a skilled martial artist:
-Try to relax. You have more control over yourself that way.
-Pros are trained to watch their peripheral vision.
-Pros are trained to watch their opponent’s body to anticipate moves.
-This training gives a pro more time to react. Time an untrained fighter doesn’t have.
-Pros are trained to watch their peripheral vision.
-Pros are trained to watch their opponent’s body to anticipate moves.
-This training gives a pro more time to react. Time an untrained fighter doesn’t have.
Test your character’s moves. You can do this by acting out the fight with someone to see if the moves you describe actually work. You can also find someone who owns your weapons of choice and get a quick lesson. Since I have minimal experience with guns, I had a friend bring his rifle to my house and show me how to use it. It made describing how to shoot much easier. And for my sword fighting scenes, I devoured a book called Medieval Swordsmanship. It was a huge help.
Don’t be lazy with your research. Your readers will know. Trust me. Put in the time to get your facts straight and the scene will be so much more realistic.
2. Characterization
Inexperienced vs. an experienced fighter… an aggressive person vs. a passive one… feeling like you’re just being picked on vs. you messed with my kid, you pay!
Who your character is and how he responds to being attacked affects what he’ll do. Make sure to incorporate your character’s skills, personality, strengths, and weaknesses into the fight. Thinking through each character might also inspire an interesting edit. In my book To Darkness Fled, when my character Achan was attacked, he forgot the proper sword fighting skills he’d recently learned and he turned to what he did best: brawling. So rather than continue to clash swords, Achan—though it made little sense—tackled his opponent and wrestled him to the ground.
So ask yourself some questions as you look over your scene. What if my hero did something different? What would happen then? What about his opponent? How might his opponent react?
3. Don’t make it easy!
Yes, your hero will likely win in the end, but that doesn’t mean he’ll win every fight, nor does it mean he shouldn’t get a bit wounded in the process. Make it a challenge. Putting your character in harm’s way will heighten the drama. Why not put the odds in his opponent’s favor? Let your hero get hit. Let him bleed a little. Let him lose a few times before he wins. Your reader will like him all the more.
4. Dialogue
Keep dialogue to a minimum. No monologues! In a real fight, when the adrenaline is flowing, you don’t have time to talk. Any chitchat should be short. A word here and there. If you have more than one sentence in a row, re-think that. It might need to be split up. Even internal thoughts should be minimized. An experienced fighter might have more time to think, since he is trained to stay calm and think ahead, but a novice will simply panic. In my fantasy novels, Achan often criticizes himself. Since he’s only partially trained, he notices when he makes a mistake, so he sometimes thinks: Pig snout! Why can’t I get that right?
5. Details
Trim out unnecessary details that interrupt the action’s flow. Such details might be: things happening with another character across the room, description, explanations of how things work, long trails of thought, and backstory. If you need to set up some things, do it before the fight begins so that you don’t have to interrupt your action once it’s on.
If you can, add some of the five senses. Not all of them. But a smell here, some pain there, the veins popping on your opponent’s muscled arms, and the overall panic or fear helps the reader connect to the emotion.
6. Pacing
I like to check my word count on the fight scene, then try to cut out almost half the words. Action should move quickly, the fewer words the better. Keep it tight. Use short sentences and strong, active verbs. Don’t write only a blow-by-blow list of movement. Include sensory details. What does your character see, feel, touch? Keep things chaotic. Are they sweating? Are they in pain? Intersperse your bits of dialogue in with the action.
Take a look at where the scene begins and ends. It’s best to start the scene at the last possible moment and end it as soon as you can. If you’re trying to add a buildup of drama, don’t. It will likely read as cliché.
Get rid of words like: “as,” “simultaneously,” and those “-ing” verbs that start sentences and create physical impossibilities. Ex: Swinging a fist, he knocked out the man. If he was only swinging his fist, he didn’t even hit the man yet. This can’t happen. Make sense? Also, simultaneous action tends to slow down the pacing of your scene.
Alternate between action and reaction, action and reaction. Something is done, and your character reacts to it. The opponent reacts to that, and your character plans a new action.
If there are a lot of fight scenes in your book, make sure to give your reader a break in between them. Your character needs time to rest, reflect, talk, plan, and discover new things that will further the story and bring your character closer to achieving his overall story goal before he is locked in another tussle.
7. What happens after the fight?
Consider the role of bystanders and other characters not involved in the fight. Might a friend give—unnecessary or helpful—advice later on? Did someone film the fight and post it on YouTube? Did someone step in and try to help? Did no one help? Did your character rescue someone who is now a grateful sidekick? Or is someone angry at your hero for getting into a fight in the first place?
Your fighting character is likely exhausted and bruised. Maybe he sleeps like a rock that night. Maybe he’s sore the next day. If he was hurt, don’t forget his wound as the story progresses. It doesn’t go away soon. If he got hit in the mouth, can he chew his food? If he was knocked out, give him a lingering headache or concussion. And also don’t forget his emotions. If someone was killed, that will stay with him. And if he’s an inexperienced fighter, he might replay the scene again and again in his mind. I certainly would. And when it all catches up with him, he might just break down from the shock of it all.
Fighting is a horrible, emotional event. Make sure you convey that in your story.
Click here for the third post in this series, Writing an Epic Battle Scene.
Click here for the third post in this series, Writing an Epic Battle Scene.