What Are Your Characters Talking About?

Last week Arlette asked a question about how to keep your characters’ dialogue vivid and alive. Steph wrote some posts on dialogue a while back, and I think they’re really good. So, you might want to check those out:

Go Teen Writers: How to Write Good Dialogue Part One

Go Teen Writers: How to Write Good Dialogue Part Two

But what if you’re staring at your blank Word document, the cursor is blinking at you, and you don’t know what your characters are talking about. What do they have to say to each other?

Keep in mind, there shouldn’t be any dialogue in your book that’s superfluous. Dialogue is part of a scene, and every scene in your book should have a purpose. Every scene should do one or more of the following:

1. Advance the plot
2. Deepen characters
3. Fill in backstory

That said, if your goal is to deepen the characters, and there is no major plot point happening besides them getting to know each other, how do you keep the dialogue interesting? You don’t want to write the way people actually talk, because people are boring. The guys in my youth group could talk about a video game for an hour. I don’t want to read about that.

But when conversation is exciting, funny, or adversarial, it can keep the reader turning the pages just as quickly as if they’re in the midst of an action-packed scene.

“Great, Jill,” you say. “But how do I do it?”

“Dialogue is a war.” So says Randy Ingermanson in his book Writing Fiction for Dummies. And that’s a great place for us to start. Dialogue should have tension. And not all tension means a fight. Tension can come from fear, anger, hatred, desire, excitement, sorrow, competition. I could go on an on.

So here is what I suggest. Start by choosing an overall emotion you’re hoping to convey during the scene. Also, figure out where your characters are, emotion-wise, before the dialogue starts, and if you’re hoping to change that or not. Also, it always helps to know each of their motivations for the scene and for life in general.

I’m going to use an example of dialogue from my book The New Recruit. All I wanted to do here was characterize a few people. The only thing this conversations adds to the overall plot is that both Gabe and Spencer like Isabel.

Here is what I knew in advance:

Overall emotional goal for the scene- humor

Character emotions/goals- 
Spencer- He’s feeling awkward because his new church friends invaded the lunch table where he sits with his basketball friends.
Kip- He’s annoyed that these “losers” came and sat at the cool people table.
Gabe- He’s trying to make friends with Spencer.
Isabel- She’s just looking to see where her friends are sitting at lunch.

And here is the scene-

     “Dude, this is nuts. I’m out of here.” Kip stood up. “I’ll be outside.”
     Gabe opened a bag of chips and offered Kip one. “You should probably stay in the building. It’s pretty hot out today.”
     Kip stared at Gabe as if the guy had two heads.
     “Que pasa? Got room for me, Gabriel?” Isabel stood behind me, holding a pink fabric lunch sack. Her thick black lashes seemed to blink in slow motion.

     Gabe pushed his stuff over and squished closer to me, making a spot for Isabel, but she sat on my other side. Ha! Garmond-1. Stopplecamp-0. And I just have to point out: When Isabel said Gabriel’s name, it sounded like Gabrielle, which is a girl’s name. I’m just saying . . .
     “Yeah . . .” Kip said, his eyes roaming over Isabel like a searchlight. “It does look kind of hot outside.” He sat back on the bench. “Kind of hot in here too.”
I snorted a laugh. Kip took great pride in the cheesy pickup lines he dealt to girls. The sad thing was, they worked half the time. I secretly hoped Isabel was smarter than the girls Kip usually hit on.
     “Es-pensor, what church do you go to?” Isabel asked.
     “Calvary Baptist,” I said, thankful for the first time that Grandma made me go so I could provide the goddess with a pleasing answer.
     “Me, Gabe, Arianna, and Neek, we all go to Cornerstone Christian Center. You should come to our youth group sometime. It’s on Wednesday nights.”
     Yeah, right. Like I’d ever set foot in that place again. Nick didn’t like me, and neither did his dad, Pastor Muren. Yet this was Isabel inviting me somewhere.
     “I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” Kip asked Isabel.
     She looked across the table. “Uh, no. I was asking—”
     “Would you like to?” Kip said.
     She frowned. Apparently she wasn’t quick enough to catch his meaning.
     Kip flashed her a cheesy grin. “I’m just asking because my friend Spencer here wants to know if you think I’m cute.”
     I rolled my eyes.
     Isabel pursed her lips and tipped her head to the side. “Well, what is your name, Es-pensor’s friend?”
     “You can call me Kip if I can call you tonight.”
     This time Isabel chuckled. “Oh, you’re a funny one.”
     Kip tapped his fingers on the table in front of my tray.
     “Dude, did the sun come up or did she just smile at me?”
     I laughed too. I couldn’t help it. When Kip got going, only a slap to the face could stop him. And I had to give him credit for using his clean lines on Isabel. I guess he could tell she was too nice to be raunchy around.
     Or maybe he just didn’t want her to slap him.

So what does this show the reader? That Gabe is nice. That Isabel speaks a little bit of Spanglish. That Kip is kind of a jerk and likes to make things all about him. That Spencer thinks Kip is funny. That all three guys like Isabel. That Isabel is polite but isn’t showing any interest in Kip. That Spencer is competitive. That Spencer might consider going to church (something he doesn’t like) to spend time with Isabel (someone he does like).

Dialogue is a war. They all want to talk about different things. Kip won. He dominated the conversation.

Let’s take two characters. We’ll call them Eli and Paige. And we want them to have a conversation.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“Nothing,” Paige said.

Right now, what they’re saying is boring. We need to turn this dialogue into a war of some kind.

So here are some tips to help you figure out how to make your dialogue a war:

Make it confrontational. Each character’s traits can clash with another. In my example, Kip’s traits took over the conversation. The words spoken (or thought internally by your POV character) should be traits that are natural to each speaker. Things like: politeness, sarcasm, humor, etc. (click here to see the character traits list). You can also add character emotions like anger or flirtation. And should those emotions clash, all the more interesting for your reader.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“What do you think is up, you jerk?” Paige said.
“What did I do?”

Make it suspenseful. Have one of the characters say or do something that piques the reader’s interest or curiosity. Maybe their answer is vague or suspicious and makes the POV character think the other character is hiding something or lying for some reason.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“You don’t want to know,” Paige said.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“As if you don’t know,” Paige said.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“Mr. Lawler gave a pop quiz that I totally failed,” Paige said.
“Wait. You’re not in Mr. Lawler’s class.”

Make it confusing (in a good way). Have one of your characters say something odd in reply. Maybe she’s in a goofy mood, maybe she’s preoccupied by something, or maybe she wasn’t listening to the POV character or misheard him.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“Sky. Moon. Stars,” Paige said, smiling.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“Did you know Mike and Emma are dating?” Paige asked.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“Do I want some what?” Paige asked.

Make it make decisions. People often decide things when they talk. What they think about people or what they’d like to do next. Since you should have a goal for the scene, let your dialogue lead your characters to the place you need them to go.

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“I’m starving,” Paige said.
“I’ve got a Snickers. You want it?”

“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“I’m starving,” Paige said.

Make it describe. Use description tags or action tags to give clues to your POV character. You don’t have to use such tags with every bit of dialogue, but practice to find places where it fits and feels natural.

Paige walked into the room and slumped into the seat beside Eli’s. Her eyes were red and puffy.
“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
Paige huffed. “As if you don’t know.”

Paige clomped into the room and slumped into the seat beside Eli’s.
“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
Paige stuck out her bottom lip. “I’m starving.”

Make it internal. You should already be adding your point of view character’s internal narrative here and there. Not with every bit of dialogue, but practice this! This is your character’s voice. Learn to perfect it.

Paige walked into the room and slumped into the seat beside Eli’s. Her eyes were red and puffy.
Uh oh. “Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked, wincing inside.
Paige glared at him. “What do you think is up, you jerk?”
A chill ran up Eli’s arms. She’d seen. She knew. Nuts.

Paige clomped into the room and slumped into the seat beside Eli’s.
“Hey, what’s up?” Eli asked.
“I’m starving,” Paige said.
Eli instantly thought of the Snickers in his bag. The Snickers he’d bought for himself. The Snickers he’d been saving for after track practice. “I’ve got a Snickers. You want it?”

And—of course—don’t forget to make use of the FREE Self-Editing Dialogue Checklist from the Go Teen Writers book. It’s a great took to help you diagnose problems in your dialogue. Click here to download the checklist.

Can you think of any other ways to make dialogue into war?