“Have you always wanted to be a writer?”
When I’m out and about, doing author events, this is the question I get most often. It’s understandable; we all like to see lifelong dreams realized. It inspires hope in us, that the things we’ve always longed for will somehow, some way come true in our own lives.
My answer to the question is a lot like the answer many authors give.
“No, but I have always written.”
As a kid, I don’t remember author being a huge career goal. I do remember enjoying writing assignments and poetry. I remember winning writing contests and I remember teachers encouraging me on. But I was always much more interested in splashier, noisier jobs like acting or flying a rocket through space.
At some point though, writing eclipsed the other desires and I realized that with a lot of work and a little luck, I could turn this thing I loved into a career.
Even typing that last sentence brings to mind the wide-eyed hope of those first weeks and months, determined to finish a manuscript so I could make my mark on the world, make some money, and contribute to my family’s livelihood. Three absolutely fair, noble goals.
But what also jumps out at me is how little I knew. In truth, a bit of ignorance here can be helpful. If you knew how hard the road was before you hit it, you just might refuse to take the first step. But there are a few things I wish I had known early on. First of all . . .
There is no such thing as arriving. Even if your debut novel hits bestseller lists, gets all the starred reviews, and is turned into a blockbuster movie, there will still be mountains to climb. And while writing books is a worthwhile and exciting career, it will not fill every void in your life. Nor should it. Not only will you continue to work hard, but you will need to be diligent to guard your heart and plant healthy seeds in your personal life. If you don’t, you may very well find success as an author, but the cost will be far too high. And without soul care, such a career will be unsustainable.
People will love your work. They will. Your story will touch hearts and find enthusiastic fans. It may forever affect how readers view the world around them. They’ll spend money on your words, pass your book around, and recommend it to all their friends. Readers will highlight their favorite passages and use sticky notes to mark moments they want to return to. They’ll take selfies with your book and scream about it on social media.
And while all of this is encouraging and flattering and soul soaring goodness, it’s so important to remember that this book is just one thing that you did. I don’t mean to be reductive, but I want you to hear me: your book is not you.
The minute you start to believe that it is, the double-edged sword strikes. Because this is also true:
People will hate your work. For real. They’ll post barfing gifs on Goodreads and accuse you of being all sorts of nasty things. Readers will pick apart your words and misunderstand you. They’ll point out every inconsistency, every mistake, every poor word choice. Some readers will have legitimate complaints, and some of them will simply struggle to connect with your voice. And while they attempt to process your story in the form of a review or a social media post, the one thing they can’t actually do is change who you are. That’s all on you.
So remember, on good days and on bad ones, you are not your book. Getting confused here will most certainly bite you.
The writing life is cyclical. I have a lovely group of writer friends. Some of them are bestselling authors, some of them are searching for an agent, some of them are fighting hard to finish a novel, and some are mid-list authors fighting hard to stay on top of an ever-changing industry. But here’s the kicker, some of us frequently cycle through each of these phases.
Writing is not a career that includes graduating past a certain point never to revisit it again. Every project is unique. And every career has its own ups and downs.
In our local group of ten or twelve authors, at least four are working with their second agent. Several of us have published multiple books only to find that our publisher wasn’t interested in our next project. Some of us have had our favorite editor switch jobs mid-book leaving us without a hero to champion our project inside the house. Some of us signed contracts with publishers who ended up going out of business before our books ever hit the shelves. Talk about feeling like you’re back at square one!
If you keep working, you will continue to move forward in your knowledge and your work relationships and your mastery of the writing craft. There is linear progress to be made, but this industry is very cyclical. You will repeat steps and phases and find yourself back where you were before.
This is the nature of publishing. It does not mean you are getting worse. It does not mean you don’t have what it takes. Finding yourself cycling through a down time means only this: if you keep working, keep writing, keep your chin up, you will likely find yourself cycling though a high time.
I can’t promise you a book contract is in your future, but emotionally, you will go through mountain-top experiences (completed books, good reviews, encouraging feedback) and you’ll go through valley experiences (abandoned projects, hateful reviews, useless, hurtful feedback).
You’ll also have months where you’re buried under mountains of revisions while all your friends are celebrating their successes. You’ll find yourself on the downswing while other writers are climbing high. This is how creative fields work.
You can’t let the nature of the industry determine your worth. Find writers you can cycle through publishing with. Choosing to be excited for others when it’s their turn is much more profitable than allowing jealousy to root itself in your heart. Be a cheerleader when your friends are struggling; let them lift you up when you’re tired. And embrace the idea that no one phase lasts forever.
Being brave is not the opposite of being scared. In fact, being scared is a prerequisite for being brave. If you’re not terrified of the unknown, it takes absolutely no bravery to step into it. On the other hand, putting your work out there, asking for feedback, working to make a connection? All of these can be frightening propositions—especially for writers who often thrive in the quiet caves where they write.
It takes bravery to do the writing life. I use to think that if I waited long enough, I would outgrow the things I was afraid of. But the only way to nullify fears, is to push forward despite them. That’s not fearlessness; it’s courage. Don’t let fear convince you you weren’t cut out for this job. You can be brave in the face of daunting tasks. Give it a go.
Thank you so much for the honest insight into the publishing world. Something I didn’t realize until recently is how painful it is to feel dried up. To not know what to work on next. To not have ideas you want to commit to writing. To hardly be able to write a handful of words let alone a hundred or a thousand. It was painful and hard, but thankfully I’m moving out of that writing season and embracing a new one.
Oh yes! Dry seasons are very painful. It can feel like, perhaps, you’ve said all you had to say. But seasons, by their very nature, pass. I’m glad you feel yourself edging out of it, if only because you’ll feel lighter. But don’t panic if you find yourself here again. It’s par for the course. I say use this time to explore other arts or anything that inspires you. Sometimes you just need to refill.
Great post! I definitely agree with Ashley on this one: I never realized that I would actually have a time where I essentially couldn’t write, much less how hard that would be. of course, going through that also taught me that creativity is not something that you can constantly depend on–you have to work for it sometimes.
Yes! You do have to work through it. I told Ashley that I use times like this to refuel. Take in a show, hike, spend time with my fam, anything at all that offers inspiration. When I do, I find I have a lot more to say.
You touched on this in your (AMAZING) post, Shan, but for me it was realizing, “Getting published isn’t the finish line.” I worked for years to be a published author. I thought about it all the time.
When I got my contract, it felt like reaching a false summit. Like I’d just arrived at base camp or something and hadn’t even begun the “real” ascent.
Or like when you’re pregnant and you know all there is to know about pregnancy and childbirth, but then the nurse hands you that baby and you’re like, “Oh … I don’t know what to do with THIS.” I was an expert at being an aspiring author, but I didn’t know how to be a published author!
Oh yeah, Steph. For real. There is always something new to learn. Yesterday I learned that booksellers can actually refuse to sell a book unless it’s given a new cover or title. Like how? Crazy, right?
What a fantastic post! Thank you. I was just talking to a friend who wants to move from being an editor to a writer. I’ll share with her.
So good about the cyclical nature of writing, and never ‘arriving’. We have to be content in our worth outside of our published (or not published) stuff.
Thank you, Amy! And yes, please share. It’s so good to be in community with one another. You’re so right. Our worth cannot come from our career or our hobbies. That’s just asking for a kick in the pants.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Shannon! So encouraging to read and so helpful to recognize all of this, particularly the “never arriving” bit and the “cyclical nature” of the writing business. Sometimes it can get so discouraging when you’re in a different part of the cycle than many of the writers around you – and social media can just heighten that feeling since it is usually focused on the successes and highlights. When writing is hard or rejections are coming or you’re just slogging through a difficult state of the process, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure! You’re just tramping with Frodo and Sam through the Dead Marshes while Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are sprinting through Rohan. I need that reminder sometimes!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into my slogging, Hobbit nature, Gillian! Yes, you’re absolutely right. It is SO HARD when you’re not in the same season as those around you. And it’s a choice to enter into their celebration but I’ve found that it helps my attitude and my heart and my relationships. So, really, difficult but a win all around.
I’m a very goal driven person and like to see my goals clearly, so finding and agent and realizing that publishing is full of obstacles that I really can’t control is daunting. So, maybe right now I’m learning to just write and submit and not be so worried that publishing appears so fluid and out of my control ;D
That’s a very good place to be, Keturah! I wish I could tell you that the obstacles will vanish, but it’s learning to navigate the obstacles that make us stronger and wiser. And still, your journey will be a unique one and there’s no use fearing the mountains that haven’t risen in front of you just yet. I share all this so that, one day, when you hit a pothole you’ll know you’re not alone.
Thank you for posting this! It’s excellent insight and a good reminder as well. This blog helped me so much when I was writing and querying my first book. Now I’ve begun querying my fifth and it’s surprised me by gaining some traction with agents. And Go Teen Writers continues to be an excellent resource! Writing really is a journey with no true destination, but it’s a lovely journey.
Congratulations, Josie! Wishing you all the luck with agents and I’m glad you still pop in over here.
*clutches heart* This whole post filled my soul. Such meaningful things to remember in this crazy, emotional life of being a writer. I’m bookmarking this one, and keeping your words close.
THANK YOU for sharing this with us. It meant so much!
Oh, I’m so glad, Christine! It’s good to find your heart people, isn’t it?
I don’t think I’m interested in ever publishing, but this was a great article to read nevertheless. I especially resonated with your points about not letting yourself be your book. That’s a trap I generally fall into, and it can have awful effects when I’m getting feedback from betas just like it does for you when you’re getting feedback from your audience.
Eleanor | On the Other Side of Reality
Yes! It is a trap, right? Thank you for weighing in and don’t ever feel pressure to publish. It’s only one possible road.
I wish I’d had a mentor (still wish that) so I set out to be a mentor and show younger writers thing I wish I’d known.
Like , make an outline, develop a theme, two things I struggle with. But at least I can encourage other not to make my mistakes.
The thing that still surprises me is that people like my writing and that my writing touches lives. It still gives me chills! I hope I never get over it!
I hope you never get over it as well! It’s always, always a blessing to hear that others resonated with your work. And good job taking what you’ve learned to help others! We need more of that in this world.
“Being brave is not the opposite of being scared. In fact, being scared is a prerequisite for being brave. If you’re not terrified of the unknown, it takes absolutely no bravery to step into it.”
That’s soooo true! Great way to put that.
The whole post was a great reality check or or expectations check, while also being very encouraging. Awesome post, and thanks so much for sharing.
Oh good! I’m glad you were encouraged. Thank you for your kind comments, friend.
Wow, thanks for writing this post!
Of course, Cathryn. You are so welcome.
As someone who writes ridiculously long books with probably too many subplots, this was SO helpful! I LOVE the idea of describing the story in one sentence, and forever keeping that the core focus of the book. Such a simple but powerful concept.
Thank you so much for sharing! Looking forward to the next part!
Thank you! You can find part two here: https://goteenwriters.com/2019/01/21/how-to-know-if-your-story-works-as-a-whole-part-two/
Is is really helpful. I’m one of those people that like to write, but I hen-peck when typing, so my word count is never what I want it to be. I’m working on it, but it’s nice to know that I’m not behind, just working toward a better time. Thank you for this encouraging article.