Tell me you’re writing this summer, friends. If not, at least tell me you’re adventuring. Or thinking about adventuring? Maybe you have a summer job and you’re storing up life to later regurgitate on the page.
Maybe. Possibly. You are, yes?
Well, I was thinking, I know how summers can be. Your schedule is wacky and the writing isn’t nearly as routine. And since it’s been a bit since we’ve had a writing exercise around here, I think we should remedy that pronto!
How about something simple with a twist thrown in to get your brain working?
Yes? Yes.
I’ve got it!
I’ll give you an opening sentence and then three objects. Your job is to start with that sentence and write a paragraph somehow incorporating those three objects.
The twist: your point of view character has very recently lost their sense of sight.
Fun twist, yes? You’re going to have to dig into your character’s other senses so you can paint a picture for the reader.
Here’s that opening sentence:
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door.
And your three objects:
A high top sneaker.
A slice of pizza.
A broken window.
Now off you go! Leave me a compelling paragraph in the comments section and be sure to come back throughout the weekend to see what your friends have come up with.
Shannon Dittemore is an author and speaker. Her books include the Angel Eyes trilogy, a supernatural foray into the realm of angels and demons, as well as the fantastical adventure novel Winter, White and Wicked. Its sequel, Rebel, Brave and Brutal is due out January 10, 2023.
Shannon’s stories feature strong female leads grappling with fear and faith as they venture into the wilds of the unknown. She’s often wondered if she’s writing her own quest for bravery again and again.
It’s a choice she values highly. Bravery. And she’s never more inspired than when young people ball up their fist and punch fear in the face.
To that end, Shannon takes great joy in working with young writers, both in person and online at Go Teen Writers, an instructional blog recognized by Writer’s Digest four years running as a “101 Best Websites for Writers” selection.
For more about Shannon and her books, please visit her website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. It squeaked forward, then bumped back at me. I pushed again, holding it back with my hand and stepped forward cautiously. My foot collided something and I stumbled, frantically reaching for the door handle to help balance me. With a crash I landed on the floor, and felt a burst of pain in my hands. I sat back carefully and gently brushed one hand off with the other, wondering what was on the floor that I could have tripped over. Sharp, smooth points greeted me, mixed with warm liquid and the pungent smell of unwashed shoes. I remembered the broken window and burst into tears. What I tripped over would have had to be with Caleb’s high top sneaker. Yesterday, I had lost my sight. The last thing I saw was Caleb on the floor, a half-eaten slice of pizza in his hand, and the window shattering.
I like your order of events here, nice and smooth in the storytelling. Thank you so much for sharing!
Nice job. Your word choice and non visual imagery are great. I wonder what happened to Caleb.
Wow, great job, Aster! I love the way you used a short paragraph to incorporate all three items and present some compelling storytelling as well. Who’s Caleb and what happened?! ?
Caleb’s the MC’s big brother. The two of them have been followed their entire lives by the people who killed their parents. Now those people want to kill them. Looks like they’ve partially succeeded!
But thanks, I had fun!
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. Now that I lost my eyesight, my memory has gotten strong. It may sound strange, but memories are all I have. This door holds too many bad memories itself. Walking into my room, I felt around and sat on my bed. I remember coming home after the accident and lying in my bed. When I woke up, I couldn’t see. The accident. I took a deep breath. There were some memories better left alone. Oh no, here it comes again!
It was a friday night, exactly one year ago. I was out with my aunt at the mall. After seeing these high top sneakers advertised, I had to have them. With my parents working, I had convinced my aunt to take me. After purchasing them, I remember walking out and getting in the car. We stopped for pizza – my little brother’s favorite. I tossed the shoes in the backseat and grabbed a slice of pizza. We turned the radio up and started singing. Next thing I know, the car is on its side. It had flipped over and my aunt’s side was now on the grass. When my window shattered, I passed out. I was later told that my aunt had lost both her legs. What my parents didn’t tell me – my aunt later did – was that she lost both legs because she reached into the backseat to save my precious high top sneakers. She knew how much I wanted them and was willing to risk her life for them.
How sad! But I find it interesting that you chose to give us backstory–the how behind the blindness. Good job.
Oh, my goodness, that is so sad! Such an interesting story. And I already love the aunt because of her selfless nature. ?
Thank you so much! I’m glad people liked my story.
Me too! She sounds super nice!
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. My fingers reached over to find the light switch out of habit, but then I remembered. It wouldn’t do any good. No amount of light could chase away the darkness that had recently become my world. I took a bite out of my slice of cold, leftover pizza as I slowly picked my way across the cushion of carpet. I was getting slightly sick of pepperoni and cheese, but two weeks wasn’t really enough time to learn to cook and pizza was the only thing I could find that offered delivery. I froze as a draft of cool air stirred the hair around my face. Why was the window open? I thought I had closed it that morning. I set the slice of pizza on my nightstand where my fingers would hopefully be able to find it again and felt my way around my bed toward the window to close it before the rain the weatherman had predicted started. I felt the crunch under my high top sneaker as much as I heard it. What had I just stepped on? I had been keeping my bedroom clean just as the therapist at the hospital had advised. I bent down, my fingers dancing gently over the area. They quickly found the culprit. It was about the size of a quarter–smooth, flat, and sharp! I jerked my hand away and dropped the object as the stinging sensation triggered a reflex. I brought the wounded finger to my mouth. The unmistakable metallic, salty taste of blood assaulted my tong and I spit it out without thinking. I had bigger things to worry about. My breathing quickened along with my heart. I felt my way forward with my toes this time, the protective layer of rubber sole between me and the glass. Just as I feared, there was more lots more. My toes hit something hard. Even more cautiously I bent to feel. It was hard and rough, like a rock, but no rock could have the perfectly shaped sides and sharp even angles my fingers were mapping. A brick. I began to tremble. No! This couldn’t be happening. The police had assured me I would be safe. But the police had been wrong. I wasn’t safe. He had found me.
What a fun, terrifying read! Good job!
Ooh, that’s creepy! I like the tone!
Woah. Nice Job. I really like how you use tactile imagery to show the character figuring out that it was a brick and not a rock that broke the window. Also, great cliff hanger.
Fantastic job!
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. The stench of chemicals drifted through on stale air. “You sure this is safe?” asked Sam from beside my ear.
I jumped. “Don’t do that. And yes, it’s safe.”
“Let me go in first,” he said. “The pizza will cover the smell.”
I heard him take another bite of his slice as he walked around me, but the chemical scent still overwhelmed my nose. I edged into the lab after him, desperately trying to recall what this place had looked like. “See anything?”
“It looks just like we left it.” Sam rustled some papers a little ahead.
Papers. The designs! “Are the blueprints there?”
“What blueprints?”
“Those blueprints that were on the table. Are they there?”
More rustling. “No….”
I fumbled forward to the table and started to help him search before I remembered I was blind now. He stayed my wrist with a hand oily from pepperoni. “What were they for?”
“I don’t–” But at that moment I felt a breeze on the back of my neck and whirled around. “What’s that?”
Sam let go of my wrist and turned too. “Oh man,” he said. “Oh man, oh man. The window’s broken. Someone’s already been here.”
Actually I guess the air wouldn’t be stale if the window was broken, but maybe if the break-in was recent….
Or, depending on the setting, if a dust storm is about to blow through, the air gets really still and kinda stale
Regardless, you did a great job creating the scene without actually describing it visually. And already your characters and premise are intriguing.
Great job! I liked how you used a lot of scent and touch to convey the scene, along with some smooth, natural dialogue.
Ha, thanks everyone. I just realized I forgot the sneaker, too. Apparently the muse blazes her own way. 😛
I reached out a hand and opened the door. With no knowledge of where I was, and no sight to find out, the smooth but cold metal of the handle felt as close a guiding friend as I had at the moment, only just awakening minutes ago, my eyes feeling goopy as if they had some sort of sludge in them I couldn’t rub out. Stepping in the room, my nose was assaulted by a pungent waft of old pizza, and something sweet that wrinkled my nose. I could tell it was long cold because of the stale tinge of the cheese grease. Taking another step, a subtle draft crawled over my bare arms and face. I walked towards the breeze, heart leaping at the thought of a way outside. Thats when I stepped on the glass, the gritty crunch beneath my high top sneakers scratching my ears as the first sound I had heard -besides my own breathing- since I had woke up. Then, as pricks of stinging pain shot up my foot, I realized I didn’t have my pair of red hight tops on; I only had one. Hopping on the one shoe, I stumbled into a table, the warm tickle of blood dripping off the toes of the foot I held off the ground. My hands slipped in grease as they found the pizza, only a slice left, and my stomached growled out of nowhere. Suddenly aware of a devouring hunger, I would have eaten it, however old, but then I identified the smell I so abhorred. Pineapple… cooked pineapple… gross. I raised it to pick them off, balancing still on the one foot, when the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I wasn’t alone anymore, and the realization made me not so hungry.
“I wouldn’t eat that,” came a voice I’d never heard before from behind me. “It’s got pineapple on it.”
That’s great! I like the mysterious voice. Although I disagree with your characters, pineapple pizza is good. Especially if it has ham, too! ?
Haha! Yeah, my brother would agree with you, but for some reason I think it’s just awful!?
To each his own. Or her, as the situation demands. ?
Eerie set up with both comic relief and suspense at the end. Love it!
Thank you!
So creative! And who is the person at the end?! Such suspense!
Thank you so much!
I really like how smoothly you introduce the blindness aspect here with “With no knowledge of where I was, and no sight to find out….” Also, despite the fact that I love pineapple on pizza, the last lines are excellent–funny but mysterious at the same time.
Wow! Thank you so much! Thats really kind of you to say.
This was so much fun! Thanks for doing this Shannon! And I love reading everyone else’s! You guys are too awesome for your own good!
Aww, thanks! Yours was good too!
Thank you!
I agree. I love this writing community. So much talent, and everyone is so encouraging. You guys are all great. Good luck on all your author journeys!
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. I shuffled inside the room and closed the door behind me then locked it. I leaned against it and at that moment, exhaustion set it. Blindly running through unfamiliar halls had been nightmarish, and now it was taking it’s toll. My feet ached. I bent over to take off my shoes, but only one of my high top sneakers remained. I must have lost the other one in the chase. My stomach growled. I wished that I had eaten more than one slice of pizza for lunch. Who cares if it had been more calories? I decided that I should get my baring and try to figure out where I was. I took a few steps until I ran into the corner of something. It felt like a table or counter. Perhaps I was in a kitchen? I was about to take more steps when a crashing sound filled my ears. I dropped to the ground as broken glass rained down on me. What was that? Had someone broken a window. If that was the case, they now had a way to get to me. Next, I heard a bumping noise then the sound of shoes hitting the floor. I stayed low to the ground.
“I know you’re in here,” a familiar, nauseating voice said.
It was confirmed. They must have broken a window to get in. The next noise sounded like someone bumping against the door. They were there too. They had found me! The door burst open and footsteps hastened in my direction. They had cornered me.
Nauseating voice is a great way to describe someone without actually seeing them! Especially if your character has been running! I like it!
Thank you so much!
This was fantastic! I want to read the whole story! Great writing!
Thank you so much!
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. The sounds of noisemakers and excited kid voices filled the room. “You’re finally here!” Kinsley’s excited voice greeted me, and I smiled at her bouncy tone.
“Yes, I am!” I scooped her into a hug. “Wouldn’t miss the party.”
The events after that exchange with my little sister were blurred, but suddenly flames filled my vision. I ran, trying to escape them, my favorite Converse high tops squeaking on the floor. But they were everywhere. I flung my arm across my face, trying to shield my face, pizza from the party still in my hand.
Kinsley screamed, and the sound of a window breaking filled my ears, thundering louder than the crackle of the flames. I spun around and dove toward her, shielding her in my arms as the glass pelted me. Then everything went black.
I shot up in bed, the sickening darkness still surrounding me. Can’t I stop dreaming about last week? I rubbed my eyes. Just a dream. Just…a dream.Then I remembered. The sterile smell of the hospital room filled my nostrils. The darkness wouldn’t go away. I was blind.
Your nightmare was fantastic! But now I want to know, did she save Kinsley? Also, having her wake up in a hospital was perfect!
Thank you!! (In my mind, yes, she sacrificed her sight to save Kinsley by taking the glass.) Every time I write something short like this, I want to explore the characters and story behind it more fully! ?
Me too! And good, Kinsley seemed too sweet to lose.
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. There he was. Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew he was there. I squealed like I was a little girl again and ran into his arms. He always had them open for me. Tears streamed down my face, and I could almost see the dark blotches spreading against his camouflage uniform. I wanted him to tear it off and change into something normal, to forget about those awful days when we were thousands of miles apart, but I was too proud of him to allow it.
The darkness that always hid behind my eyelids dissipated at the sheer joy of seeing him again.
“I missed you… so much,” he whispered tenderly through the tears. Suddenly, we became aware of the other officers in the room. I reluctantly pulled away, but I kept my hands on his arm. I could feel his gaze on me as he said, “I’m sorry, love. I have a few things I have to discuss before heading home.” he rubbed my ring, and I knew I had to go.
“All right, but don’t be too long. We got pizza to celebrate, and it’s going to get cold.”
“Save me a slice, alright love.” I nodded and stood on my tippy-toes so we were the same height and kissed him lightly. I didn’t want to leave him, but Mother had my arm and was pulling me out. I blew him a kiss and let her lead me to the door.
“I wish you could’ve seen him. He’s just the same as when we last saw him. He had even changed out of his boots into his high-top sneakers, or whatever you call them.” I smiled and sank onto the wooden bench that was against the wall. I smoothed down my polka-dot circle skirt and reapplied my lipstick. I wanted to look nice for my new husband. We hadn’t been able to spend much time together after the wedding. Now was my chance.
The sound of shattering glass shot me to my feet. I ran to the door and turned the knob. It was stuck.
“Thomas!” I screamed, banging my fists mercilessly at the door. “Mama help!” she was by my side in a flash. We kicked and pounded for what seemed like an eternity, my heart slowly falling along with my tears. Finally, the door banged open. “What is it? What happened? Mama?” glass crunched under my feet. A breeze swept through the usually still room. “Mama, what happened?” I said slowly.
“They’re gone.”
Well! I thought that this was going to be just a nice little story when I started reading. But boy that took a turn! Great job, I want to know what happens!
I did too! And a bunch of army guys disappearing with no shots fired?? That begs for them running away or being taken from the inside or something.
You did a great job at conveying the emotion in that scene! And such a mysterious ending! Great job!
Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun writing this. It’s a really great exercise.
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. My hands were out in front of me, feeling for anything that might be in my way. “Hello?” I called. “Marcy? Jace?” No answer.
I wasn’t sure if I was even in the right room. I searched into my memories of the previous day and push images of the upstairs hallway through the black emptiness that now cloaks my field of vision. I could have sworn that Marcy’s room was the fifth door on the right, and that my counting was correct while I felt my way down the hall. This whole blindness thing was going to take some getting used to. I’d have to get better at adjusting until it wore off… if it wore off.
I stepped over the threshold and instantly slid out. My head conked on the hardwood floor, and even though I couldn’t see the nose in front of my face, I swore I saw stars. Ouch.
I felt around for the object that tripped me, and my hands ran over a slick, greasy object that smelled like cheese and peppers. Pizza. A few extra seconds of investigating turned up the box that the slice belonged to. I realized I must have miscounted the door knobs, and I had to be in Jace’s room. Marcy would never leave anything lying around on the floor. But then again, the pizza slice was on the ground and not in the box. Jace would never let perfectly good pizza hit the ground, and if it did, he wasn’t so much of a slob that he would leave it there.
“Jace?” I called. “Where are you?” The previous day, I wouldn’t have put it past him to be hiding somewhere waiting to sneak up on me, but after what happened to my eyes, he stopped teasing me. I think he blamed himself for the accident. At first, I did too, but then I saw (metaphorically speaking) just how guilty and ashamed he was. I couldn’t bring myself to be mad after that.
I stood up and felt a cool draft. The window had to be open. But it was the tale end of December, and Jace got cold faster than anyone I’d ever met. Why was the window open.
“Jace? Marcy?” I started walking farther into the room, careful not to trip over any more of Jace’s haphazard messes. “I’m back. Dana just dropped me off. She told me to tell you something. It’s important. We could be in-”
Before the word “danger” could leave my mouth, I felt and heard a crunch under my feet. I reached down to touch whatever I stepped on, then immediately, yelped, yanked my hand back, and cradled a brand new cut. Broken glass.
The cold air around me was stronger, so I figured I had to be near the window. I reached forward, slowly and carefully, and my finger tips brushed the jagged edges of what used to be a window pane. A branch that had to be from the old sycamore that always scratched Jace’s window during storms jutted into the empty space where the pane used to be, an I felt a large object swinging on the tip. I took it in my hands. Canvas, rubber, the shape of a sneaker… a high top, tied to the tree branch by the laces… and the laces were beaded, like the ones on Marcy’s signature pink high tops. What the heck happened there.
It was then I heard footsteps on the stairs, then in the hall, then just outside the still open door. Big, clomping footsteps, too big to be Jace or Marcy or anyone except one of the Cavendish twins. And sure enough, as soon as the steps arrived at the door, a voice with the same pitch and texture of both Mitch and Brady Cavendish spoke.
“You shouldn’t have let Dana bring yo back Abbie.”
Much like the Cavendish twins’ appearances, their voices are near identical once you factor out Mitch’s cheerful, sunny tones in contrast to Brady’s sulkiness. But I couldn’t see a thing, and the voice I heard was empty of both sun and sulk. It just had a hard, threatening edge.
“Wh- who’s there?” I stammered. Dana said there was a traitor in our midst. Was it one of the twins? If it were either of them, my money would’ve been on Brady, but then again, in every book and movie, it’s always the one you least expect, aka Mitch. “Where are Marcy and Jace?”
“They ran away. Or maybe a better term would be broke out, judging by the looks of it. It’s a shame. They’re both useful. But I guess that doesn’t matter. They’ll be back. For you.”
My heart kicked into high gear. Whoever was in front of me clearly had ominous intentions, I was blind, and they were blocking the only exit. Dana was right. This house wasn’t safe anymore.
“You should’ve been here when they left,” Brady/Mitch continued. “Then you’d all have been able to get away Scot free.” A short pause, where I imagined him shrugging. “Oh well.”
At the sound of his heavy footstep entering the room, I realized there was only one option. It was highly likely to get me killed, but if what Dana said was true, then letting this guy take me wasn’t a great alternative. I took a deep breath, said a quick, silent prayer, and grasped the branch firmly in both hands. The words “Here goes nothing” echoed in my mind as I swung a foot onto the window sill and started to climb out.
Sorry, I know it’s long. I fell in love with the characters and the scenario really quickly. I actually think after my WIP is done, I’ll turn this scene into a full book. I’ll be sure to give you a shout out in the acknowledgements if it ever sees publication. Thanks 🙂
Also, yikes, just reread it and it’s FULL of typos. Let this be a lesson about the importance of proofreading. Oops. Ha ha.
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. My hand went out and pulled down the smooth plastic light switch. But the darkness did not disappear. I flicked it up and down. No light. The dark remained thick and all encompassing. I turned, feeling along the wall for the switch for the hall. I couldn’t find it. Must be on the other side. I start to walk forward and instantly trip over a shoe,my little brother’s high tops probably. He always leaves them in the hallway even if it causes mom to yell. I know I have to be on the floor but the feeling of the carpet on my butt is all that tells me that. Suddenly it dawns on me that the light might be on and I just can’t see it. That thought sends my mind spinning and the darkness becomes thick and enveloping like a blanket. My breath comes in little gasps and I lurch to my feet. The need for light fills my mind completely, letting no other thoughts in. I feel the smooth glass of a window and pound on it until I hear a crack and a tinkling. My heart skips a beat. The window is broken. I can feel the breeze. Smell pizza from the house next door. But. I can’t. See. Any light. I can’t see the tears that roll down my face either. All I can feel is a wetness on my cheeks and a salty taste in my mouth. I am blind.
Whoa, Cassandra, that was really good! I could feel the desperation rolling over me! I like how they kept searching for light until they realized that it would never appear. Also, tripping over a younger sibling’s shoe is all to relatable! XD
Whoa. This was so fun to read! It’s suspenseful and intriguing. Fabulous job! I totally want to see this in whole-book form ?
Thanks. I liked yours too. Your sensory descriptions were great and your premise and the way you set it up made me want to know more. I was glad when you commented that little Kinsley made it.
I reached out a hand and pushed open the door. As it opened, a squeal escaped its rusty hinges; hinges I was sure had been crafted by Father Time himself. The room beyond the door held my rapt attention, even though I could not see it. I had been in this room, a long time ago. From what I remember it had displayed mottled teal and grey walls and a marble floor. There had also been a window. That window had had the ability to capture daylight in its panes and cast its many colors onto the marble floor. It had filled me with wonder and curiosity. Today however I felt no such wonder as I could no longer see the great masterpiece. Even now, as I walked through the room, I could sense that the awe I had experienced years ago was no longer living. The smell of rain and wet earth disturbed me. My shoes brushed up against something small and delicate. A clear but raking and tinging sound tickled my ears. Glass. I imagined a brutish scene, one of a shattered window. Despair filled my soul. Had my dear window been destroyed? I couldn’t quite imagine someone with enough ill intent to break such a window. It would be terrible if that had happened. But as I walked I realized that my despair was real and needed. Eighteenth-century stained glass must be disseminated across age-old marble floor. I could hear the glass against my feet. No other windows had lived in this room. I imagined the way the light must touch the colored shards through the missing window. It must be beautiful still, the floor and the light I thought. But then I remembered what the daylight was like outside. My imaginings then produced an eeriness that crept through my clothes and wrapped around my chest. I could barely breath as I stepped through the mess. I wish I could look out the pane-less window. Dreary grey skies, mixed with a faint trickle of rain were I all would see I knew, but, I still wanted to.
I turned to face the door, hoping to somehow be given sight.”Veridian Jane, you really are a dreamer,”I thought to myself. I shivered. The dampness of the outdoors had found it’s way into this room. It was either that or I was feeling something else. Something like the feeling of being watched. That thought froze my limbs. Being watched. For once I was glad for my blindness. I couldn’t imagine trying to keep my eyes low, hoping not to glance into any half-lit corners. Now, with darkness suddenly my friend, I made my way to the door. Ten feet. I kept walking. A rush of wind poured through the back of my sweater. I turned and reached out with my hands to feel the cool air. Crack! I jumped. The door had shut. Had it been the wind or something else? “Veridian!” A harsh and ethereal whisper echoed my name throughout the room. Terrified, I dashed to the door, feeling for the knob. It was stiff. Locked. I started to panic. I had entered the house alone. My family had decided to tour the gardens while I had opted to come into the house instead. Now I was stuck. “Veridian…” the voice came again. I was too afraid to speak out, to ask who the voice belonged to. I tried the doorknob again. Nothing. I knew I wasn’t going to get out anytime soon. I felt along the wall, hoping for something useful to appear. My fingers brushed over dusty wallpaper. I imagined it’s teal and grey mottled look. I crouched low, one hand on the wall, one on the floor, feeling for anything. My right hand slid against something square and hard. My left followed and discovered the rest of the object. A wooden chest with no lid. I plunged my hands in and dug around inside. A rubbery item, partially covered in a soft material came into my grasp. I could put my hand inside and it had soft strings attached. It was a shoe. With further discovery I summarized the shoe to be a high top sneaker. The wooden chest contained various other things but I pushed past them, reaching all the way to to bottom. Yuck! I made contact with a greasy and room temperature object. Something that smelled like tomatoes. Tomatoes? My stomach said to leave it be but my curiosity had the object in my lap and my hands scrambling all over its surface. I brought it near my nose to smell it more closely. Tomatoes and cheese. Bruchetta? No…too soft and cheesy. Pizza? That was it. Pizza. I left it on the floor and gagged. I was glad yet again for my useless eyes. “Veridian!” The voice was against my ear now. A cold hand clamped over my mouth. Glass shards scraped against the marble floor. I was being dragged towards the window. I couldn’t scream. Someone or something was kidnapping me.
I just wrote 400 words in a blink. This was such a fun prompt! I have a gradually growing file of exercises just from you guys and I love it 🙂 Thanks so much for getting our creative wheels turning!