Gillian Bronte Adams writes YA epic fantasy novels, including the award-winning Of Fire and Ash and The Songkeeper Chronicles. She loves strong coffee, desert hikes, and trying out new soup recipes on crisp fall nights. Her favorite books are the ones that make your heart ache and soar in turn. When she’s not creating vibrant new worlds or dreaming up stories that ring with the echoes of eternity, she can be found off chasing sunsets with her horse, or her dog, Took. Gillian loves to connect with readers online through her website and Instagram.
What do you do when you hate your novel?
I’m not saying it’s inevitable that you will hate your novel at some point in the process. Or even that you will come to hate one of your projects at some point in your life. But if you have been a writer for several years and have never hit that point of crippling doubt and utter loathing for your novel, you are a rare and fantastic creature, and I want to meet you and possibly study you. For science.
Just kidding! Joking aside, if you were to poll a room of published authors on whether or not they have ever hated a project, I dare say most would answer “Yes.” Myself included. In fact, I once spent a year so convinced that my project was the literary equivalent of Eowyn’s half-cooked stew (The Two Towers Extended Edition) that when my edit letter arrived and my editor did not demand a complete scrap and rewrite, I was convinced she was dead wrong.
(She wasn’t. But it took me several weeks to actually believe her!)
So, if you are currently convinced that your project is utter rubbish, fit only for the trash heap or a bonfire, don’t chuck it in the garbage can or pull out that lighter just yet. Instead, here are some tips that might just help you shift your mindset and eventually fall in love with your project again.
Remember you’re not alone
I know I hinted at this above, but it’s worth restating here in more detail. You are not the only writer in the history of the world who has ever hated their project. In fact, for some of us, it’s a normal step in the writing process, so much so that we can track it like clockwork.
“How’s the writing going?”
“Oh, you know, I’m in the ‘I hate everything I write’ stage.”
“Ah, so about halfway through then?”
As a side note, if you’re ever curious why authors don’t talk about this more, it’s because “Yes, I once seriously contemplated setting my book on fire. Here, want to buy it?” can feel … strange … as a marketing tactic.
Still, knowing you’re not alone is good news, and not just because misery loves company, but because knowing that other authors (even the authors of award-winning, best-selling, well-beloved books) struggle during the process means there is hope for the rest of us!
Pay attention to where you are in the writing process
Because for many of us, the feelings of doubt and dislike for our projects hit right on cue at certain stages, it’s a good idea to pay attention to where you are in the writing process. I tend to start feeling this way in the middle of the novel, which, it turns out, is fairly common. You’re far enough in that the ideas don’t seem so shiny anymore, and the actual writing is more complicated because there are more threads to track and weave together, but you’re not quite far enough to ride the wild, tumbling rush to the end, so everything just feels messy with no end in sight.
Some writers hit this stage at a specific word count mark instead, or when they’ve entered Act 2 of the novel, and the wide expanse of their story is unfolding before them, and it’s overwhelming.
Keep track of when that feeling crops up for you. Knowing what stage of your writing process tends to awaken those feelings can be helpful because you can anticipate them, recognize that they are temporary, and push through to reach the next stage of the process.
Make a list of the things you DO like about your novel
It can be small things, like a particular description or a bit of prose or an exchange between two characters that makes you smile. Or it can be big picture things like the setting of your story, a character’s voice, or an action sequence that makes you proud.
If coming up with a list sounds impossible, try just five things instead. I bet you can do it.
Tack your list next to your laptop or save it to your screen, and look over it every time you sit down to write. You might even consider adding to the list at the end of your writing session each day.
If you’re still drafting, you can also list the things you’re excited to write next in your novel. Is there a scene you’ve been dreaming about? A delicious bit of dialogue between two characters that won’t stop playing in your mind? A twist or a reveal you can’t wait to unveil? Write those things down too.
You might be surprised to realize just how much creating that list can reinspire you!
Make a list of the things you DON’T like about your novel
After making a list of the things you DO love about your novel, now you can turn your attention to the things you DON’T like. Take note of the things that just don’t feel like they’re working, the awkward bits of dialogue that drive you crazy, the emotional beats that just don’t hit right, the fact that you have one character who only ever smirks, and why in the world can’t you think up another way for him to react?
Write them down. Steer clear of broad statements. Be specific. State “why” or “because” for each one if you can.
“Exactly how is that type of negativity helpful?” you might ask.
Because it is specific. Suddenly, you’re moving away from vague feelings of “I hate everything about my novel/plot/characters” to “I hate that these three scenes in the middle feel so sluggish and boring.” You can’t do anything about the first one. But the second, you can fix.
Don’t tack this list up next to your laptop. Instead, simply write it down, and if you’re still drafting, tuck it away until after you’ve finished and taken some time away. Who knows? You might just discover that some items on your list weren’t as terrible as you thought. And even if they are, you’ve already identified them, so you’re one step closer to fixing your book. Which leads us to our next tip.
Don’t edit emotionally
If I had jumped right into making changes to my novel when I hated everything about it, it would have looked like a bad self-given haircut—you know the kind, where someone clearly didn’t know when to stop lopping.
This is one reason why you’ll often see writers encouraged not to edit until after they finish the first draft and have taken time away, so they can approach it with more objectivity. While some writers do edit as they go, I think newer writers in particular can benefit so much from drafting first and editing later.
And as a general rule, don’t edit your novel emotionally! If you find yourself feeling the urge to hack your novel to pieces, put your axe away (along with that lighter) and instead add to your lists.
Ask for the feedback you need
It can be hard to be objective about our writing. Sometimes, that means it’s hard for us to see the problems with our work, and sometimes, that means it’s hard to see the good things too. When you’ve been staring at your novel for too long, and it’s been too hard, and you’re too afraid, and there are too many negative emotions associated with it, you might need to find someone to read it and offer feedback.
But when you and your writing are in a vulnerable state, the wrong feedback can be devastating. So choose that person carefully. Someone you trust and who understands the story you’re trying to tell. Someone who will treat your story respectfully and take you seriously when you ask for what you need.
If you need someone to read the story and tell you everything they love about it and be your personal Cheer Squad, now is an okay time to ask for that. Critique and editing can come later, once you’re not already convinced your manuscript deserves to be thrown into a volcano.
If, on the other hand, you need someone who will be completely honest and transparent with you about both the story’s strengths and weaknesses, ask for that instead, and choose someone you’ll believe when they say your story isn’t absolute rubbish.
Remember, there are two versions of every novel
I think V.E. Schwab was the first author I heard talk about this, and the concept resonated with me so much I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Inevitably, there comes a point in the writing process where I have to acknowledge the truth that the novel that came out on the page does not quite match the idealized, perfect form of the novel that lives in my head. And it never will.
Because the novel that lives in my head is this lofty, nebulous, unformed, ethereal idea of a story. It’s part painting, part movie, part music, part sound, part vibes, and part feeling.
It’s not limited by words or ink on a page.
It’s not limited yet by me.
By the words I can think of and the sentences I can construct, and the way I can organize those sentences to form paragraph, scenes, chapters. To convey pacing, emotion, theme.
When I find myself struggling to love my novel, sometimes it’s because I’m only too acutely aware of the gap that exists between the version in my head and the version on the page. So, I’ll stop and ask myself, “What is it that I hoped this book could be?”
Sometimes things have simply been lost in translation. Dropped plot threads. Forgotten scenes. Character moments that need to blossom more fully. Those things, I can work to include. But others simply don’t belong in the new version of the novel that now exists on the page.
They belong to the idealized version in my head, and I have to be willing to let them stay there and give myself time to fall in love with the new version of the story.
Don’t be afraid to take a break
Writing is hard. Novels are demanding little things. You pour your heart, soul, brainpower, and emotional energy into them, and that can be exhausting! Sometimes, your negative feelings for your project are just a sign that you need to take a step back and recoup some of your creative energy and inspiration before you keep going. Taking a break may just be the most productive thing you can do for your writing at the moment, so don’t be afraid to do it!
Have you ever experienced negative feelings about your novel? If so, what helped you fall in love with your novel again?
Thank you so much for this post! I needed it. I’m almost done with my current WIP… so close that I only need a couple more chapters… and I’m so ready to be done. The plot seems like a complete mess, and I don’t know how it can possibly turn into a decent book. But I keep making notes of things that need editing and telling myself that all of it can be fixed—later. That’s what’s getting me through—knowing it doesn’t need to be perfection right now. Editing is going to be a lot of work, but it will be worth it.
Congrats on being so close to being done! That’s amazing. And yes, as much as my inner perfectionist hates to have to admit it, no book will ever be perfect at the start, and a first draft that you complete is a PERFECT first draft, because that’s all the first draft has to be! Cheering you on as you finish those last few chapters!
This is the stage I’m at in my novel. I actually made a list before I read this. It has kind of helped.
Oof been there! Yay for making lists. Sometimes I just need to remember that there are still things that I do like about my novel!
To be honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever loved anything I’ve written. At least not for very long. If I find it ok or feel like its worth continuing, that’s a good sign. I battle a lot of doubt, unfortunately. One of the thorniest spots for me is brainstorming. I’ll start with a spark and trying to flesh out characters and motivations are difficult and make me think the idea isn’t worth writing. The second wall I hit is usually around the end of the second act around the black momemt. I always feel like I can never get it write.
** never get it right, lol!
I battle a ton of doubt when I’m writing too, Tonya! So you are absolutely not alone. Writing is hard, and there are so many opportunities to second guess and overthink. But I do think that knowing when those doubts tend to crop up is SO helpful, because then you can make a battle plan to fight them. Since you’ve already identified those areas, you’re already that much more ahead!
I needed this so badly! I woke up this morning and wonder what the point of trying to edit my WIP is. The story is rough, it’s full of holes, and half of it is just me babbling about some angry girl. But then I read this. Knowing that half the work is done helps me a lot! Thank you!
Great post, Gillian. I remember some of my early rejections after I’d done a good job pitching (which was rare!), and then they’d reject my story. It took me a while to realize I was pitching that perfect book in my head, but I hadn’t yet gotten close enough on the page that they resembled each other. That took practice, and you’re right that they never really match entirely. Remembering that helps me be kinder to myself when I’m editing, and bringing in help is the best way to see the broken pieces I can’t see.
I ditched two novels after reaching this stage, and I’m almost at it in my current novel… this post saved 180 pages from the trash can! Thank you so much!
Oh, Elizabeth, I’ve reached that point many times myself and have had friends talk me away from the dumpster! So glad to hear that this post was helpful for you. Also, those 180 pages are a massive accomplishment! You should be proud of that.