by Stephanie Morrill
Stephanie writes young adult contemporary novels and is the creator of GoTeenWriters.com. Her novels include The Reinvention of Skylar Hoyt series (Revell) and the Ellie Sweet books (Playlist). You can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and check out samples of her work on her author website including the free novella, Throwing Stones.
One of the reasons editing in layers is such a valuable practice is that it forces your brain to focus on a particular element of each scene. If you read your scene looking just for adverbs, for example, you’ll have a much easier time spotting them than if you’re looking for adverbs, sensory details, and the level of tension.
Last week when we looked at editing the big picture of the scene, a lot of it was surface stuff like sensory details and what the character was trying to accomplish. With this next layer of editing, we drill a bit deeper.
If you’re a character-first writer (meaning your story ideas tend to come to you character-first and focus on character growth) then you will likely find that you’ve already done a lot of the work in this edit. That previous layer of edits, which were more about setting and plot, could have been the most intense edits and this layer will be—except for in a few scenes—only tweaks. That happens to me frequently. When I’m writing, I tend to have a better idea of what my characters are feeling than I do about what they’re doing.
If you’re a plot-first writer (meaning your story ideas tend to come to you as a plot and focus on what’s going on rather than who’s there) then it’s possible last round of edits was a breeze for you and this one will be more intense.
In this draft, we’re going to focus on emotions and, consequently, tension.
When I started reading craft book and going to conferences, I couldn’t believe how many industry experts talked about a good story having tension on every page. That’s an intimidating thought, isn’t it? It was to me when I first heard it. I didn’t write the kind of books that involved car chases and murder suspects, so how was I supposed to create tension?
I didn’t know then how critical character emotion is to tension. That without the conflict of emotions and goals, there IS no tension. Even in a car chase.
Looking at just one scene in your manuscript, try to answer these questions:
In some scenes, your character’s emotions may change during. In that case, it’s fine to list a couple dominant emotions. (For example, if in your scene, your character spends half of it looking for her younger brother and then she finds he played a prank on her, you’ll have a big mood swing in there.)
You’re looking for the emotion that (if you don’t know not to) you might flat-out say to your reader at the opening. “Paige felt angry when her her father said he wouldn’t fight for their family business.”
Paige might also feel fear, sadness, loneliness but you’re looking for the main emotion of the character and of the scene.
Now your goal is to convey the emotion without ever using the word. While “Paige felt angry” makes things nice and clear for my reader, it does little else. It doesn’t raise questions. It doesn’t make the reader experience her anger. It’s like reading information in a travel brochure versus visiting the place. (Here’s a post that details the technique of showing instead of telling.)
Now let’s brainstorm some ways to show this emotion:
It’s the same place, but we would describe it differently.
And when she turned her smile on Graham, his heart constricted. Because her brother was absolutely right—he wasn’t good enough for her. Not yet, anyway. But maybe he could change that.
“You ready?” Paige’s curls sprung about as she practically skipped to the door.
“Let’s go,” Graham said. And he kept his back to Logan as held the door open for Paige, and then crossed the threshold himself.
Graham’s heart constricted. Her brother was absolutely right—he wasn’t good enough for her. The admission left a bitter taste in his mouth, and his answer emerged gruff. “Let’s go.”
Graham kept his back to Logan as held the door open for Paige, who skipped through it, her ponytail swinging. He may not be good enough for her yet. But maybe in the next few months, as they worked together on Open Door, he would become good enough.
He would have to try. Paige was worth that.
Graham crossed the threshold, following Paige into the sun-soaked afternoon, and pulled the door tight behind him.
Graham’s heart constricted. Her brother was absolutely right—he wasn’t good enough for her. The admission left a bitter taste in his mouth, and his answer emerged gruff. “Let’s go.”
Graham kept his back to Logan as he held the door open for Paige, who skipped through it, her ponytail swinging. Then he too crossed the threshold, following her into the sun-soaked afternoon, and pulling the door tight behind them.
He may not be good enough for her yet, but maybe in the next few months, as they worked together on Open Door, he would prove himself.
He would have to try. Paige was worth that.