Last Friday we talked about which writers need literary agents and where you can go to find one. When you’ve compiled a list of agents you’re interested in working with, it’s time to write that query letter.

As a reminder, a query is a means of introduction to a prospective agent. It’s a business letter whereby you introduce yourself and your manuscript to a literary agent you’re interested in working with.

As you get started, realize there’s an art to writing a good query letter. It’s very unlikely that your first draft will hit on all the right notes. It takes a fair amount of research to understand what works in a query and what doesn’t, and it takes skill to include each element in a way that shows off your voice and the story you’ve worked so hard on. Like novel writing, query writing takes practice, so be patient with yourself and ask for feedback.

How long should a query letter be?

No longer than a page. You’re aiming for somewhere between 300 and 400 words, but definitely check each agent’s submission guidelines.

I’m not going to rehash everything we covered last week, but please review the submission guidelines on each agent’s website and submit your work as they request it.

How do I get my query into an agent’s hands?

Not long ago the querying process was done via snail mail, but these days everything’s handled through email. Please do not show up at an agent’s office with your query and project in hand. It’s unprofessional and actually a little terrifying. There will be an email address on the agent’s website. Use that.

What should I include in my query letter?

The most important thing to remember is that you are pitching your project, not yourself. The biggest mistake I see in queries is that new writers mix this up. They talk too much about their passion for the project and what inspired it and what they’re trying to say about humanity.

All of those things are important and, as your path to publication unfolds, there will be times to discuss these truths with industry professionals and readers alike. But it’s not now. A query letter is never, ever the place for extraneous information about you and your family and the fact that you’ve been writing since you were six years old.

What matters is the story.

So let’s talk about the elements of a good query letter.

After reading ALL THE BLOGS on writing query letters, it’s easy to find yourself confused. For example, a hook is a very important element in a query, but what is it exactly?

In this article, Editor Alan Rinzler refers to the hook as “those critical initial sentences of a query letter,” while author Jane Friedman talks about hooks being the “meat of the query; 100 – 200 words.”

Both of the linked articles are brilliant resources but getting tangled up in semantics is a real problem. I’m going to do my very best to cut through the confusion and keep this simple.

Your query should include these four sections:

The Pitch

Story Specifics

Your Bio

Respectful Close

Each section has a unique job, so let’s talk about them individually.

The Pitch

This is a very short, compelling summary about your book. It’s similar to what you’ll find on a novel’s back cover. And just as the back cover copy exists to entice a reader into a purchase, your pitch exists to entice an agent to request your manuscript

Summarizing a 90k word novel in a couple hundred words is not easy, but I promise it can be done. The trick is to be specific, but not wordy.

The opening lines of your pitch are crucial. It’s in these moments that your words have the most power. Do not save your magic for the end. This, right here, is where you need to hook your reader.

One of the reasons we can struggle with these opening words is because we’re not quite sure what our story is about. Or, if we do know, we’ve never tried to explain it. The best thing you can do before you commit to draft after draft of a pitch, is to take some time and try to word your story’s summary in as succinct a way as possible.

Nathan Bransford uses this format and I love it. Using your story, fill in the blanks and see what you end up with.

[protagonist name] is a [description of protagonist] living in [setting]. But when [complicating incident], [protagonist name] must [protagonist’s quest] and [verb] [villain] in order to [protagonist’s goal]

You certainly don’t need to use this sentence in your query, but these are the things your query must focus on. The characters, the setting, the action, the problem, the goal.

One of the things you’ll notice in Nathan’s handy tool is that there isn’t a doggone thing about the theme of the story. Trying to explain the theme in a query is always a bad idea and, honestly, agents won’t care about the deeper meaning at this stage. They just need to know that you can tell a good story.

You also want to keep your genre in mind. If you consider your book to be a dark comedy, full of wit and terror, your query must give off those same vibes. Like everything else we writers do, you must SHOW the agent you can write. Do not TELL her how amazing the story is; prove it to her by letting your voice flood the page.

Where does the pitch go? Most agents recommend starting your query with the pitch. It can feel very awkward to simply launch into your summary without a grand hello, but it’s customary. If you were an agent reviewing hundreds of queries a week, you’d appreciate authors who cut out the unnecessary pleasantries too.

If you have a personal connection to the agent (you’ve met at a conference, they asked you pitch them, you know a client of theirs, you’re an avid reader of their blog), it’s okay to mention that up front, but beware: agents have short attention spans.

Story Specifics

Your query must also include the specifics of what you’re trying to sell: title, genre, and word count. This doesn’t need to be any longer than one sentence. Something like, “Bob’s Fried Fish is a dark comedy and it is complete at about 85,000 words.”

Where do the story specifics go? Your story specifics follow your pitch.

Your Bio

Brief, you guys. Super brief. A couple sentences at the most. If you’ve won any industry awards for your writing or have a degree that seems relevant, you can mention it here. You can also include something that shows off your life or your personality (briefly). Did I mention that this part should be brief?

Where does your bio go? Your bio should follow the story specifics, either two small paragraphs or combined together as one if that feels most appropriate.

Respectful Close

In this final paragraph, which may be no more than a sentence or two long, show the agent that you have read their submission guidelines and are committed to doing things the right way. Tell her what you’re including with the query letter and then sign off respectfully. It’s customary to include your contact information below your signature. The agent has your email address the moment she receives your letter, so these days a good phone number should suffice.

Where does the respectful close go? After your (brief) bio, of course.

Some dos and don’ts

-DON’T send out your query in a mass email to every agent you’re interested in. Imagine how unmotivated that looks. And also, if anyone hits reply all on that thing, it’s a disaster exploding in everyone’s inboxes.

-DO research each agent. Find out their name so you can address your letter to the correct individual and seek out their submission guidelines. Each agent’s submission guidelines may require minor tweaks to your query which is another good reason to send out query letters one at a time.

-DON’T send out a query to every agent you’re interested in all at once.

-DO start with a small round and see if you get any feedback. Then you can refine your query and go again.

-DON’T reply to a rejection or lack of reply in anger. We all get rejected. Welcome to the club.

-DO thank the agent who has passed on your idea and move on. There are other agents and it’s never good to burn bridges.

-DON’T pitch an agent or editor via social media, unless it’s during an activity like Pitch Wars.

-DO respect an agent’s guidelines and boundaries. Even when you enter into a relationship with an agent, it should remain professional. For their peace of mind and for yours.

-DON’T fill the entire page with a single, massive paragraph. Or even two.

-DO break up your letter into small bite-sized paragraphs. Remember, white space is your friend. It makes things easier and more pleasant to read.

Confession: I’ve only ever written one query letter. I wrote drafts and drafts of it, but the only project I’ve ever queried was my debut novel, Angel Eyes. It’s been years since I sent it and, like most of you, I’d probably change a few things now, but it did snag me my first agent (who passed me to my current agent when he left the agency). I’ll share it below so you can see what worked for me and that the structure of the query hasn’t changed much in the last decade.


Dear Jason,

A time is coming when each of us will see the world as it really is.

For Chase Matthews, a high school senior, that time is now. Her best friend’s murder, the numbing cold that engulfs her, and Jake­­—the boy next door with flaming eyes and impossible gifts—are just a few of the pieces she’s trying to fit together.

Jake is extraordinary, with hands graced to heal, but Chase quickly learns that a healing ability is just the beginning. Raised by a member of The Shield—an angel assigned to protect mankind—Jake possesses his guardian’s halo. Convinced that its supernatural heat will do more for Chase than he ever could, Jake gives the halo to her.

But heat is hardly the halo’s only attribute. With it, Chase is thrust into the Celestial—a realm seen only by angels and their kind—and she learns that the devastation around her began in a place her human eyes cannot see.

In a reality where fiery swords clash, fear bleeds from its victims, and the angelic aren’t always angelic, will Chase rise above the danger and choose belief in the face of tragedy, or will she succumb to the fear that keeps her bound? Regardless, there will be consequences. And for Chase, the choice to believe could be the difference between life and death.

Celestial Eyes is a young adult novel of about 94,000 words. In an attempt to refine the manuscript, I’ve worked with Declaration Editing, as well as my critique group, Inspire Christian Writers of Sacramento. I’m an avid reader and storyteller with the best audience in the world: two young children and an incredibly supportive husband.

This is my first novel, and I am pasting the first five pages of Chapter One below this letter. It would be my pleasure to send you an additional excerpt upon request.

Sincerely,

Shannon Dittemore

Phone number


A couple notes about my query:

-This letter says quite a bit and does so in only 315 words.

-If you’ve read my books, you’ll notice a couple of things changed between the time I wrote this letter and the debut of the story. The title of my book changed after I signed with an agent. That’s normal. Among many other things, an agent will help you come up with the best, most pitchable title for your story. Also, my main character’s name changed after I signed with my publisher. The team at Thomas Nelson wanted a name that was less androgynous to keep the back cover copy simple. After toying with several ideas, I settled on Brielle.

If you are in the process of writing a query letter, I would encourage you to check out agent Janet Reid’s blog, Query Shark. She accepts queries and gives feedback. She has very strict policies about how to submit to her, so please read up and do it the right way if that’s your goal. If you’re not wanting to submit, just read through her archives. So much good advice direct from the desk of a very successful agent.

So, what do you think? Are you ready to write a query? You have questions, no doubt. Drop them in the comments section and I’ll do my best to conjure an answer.

Shannon Dittemore is an author and speaker. Her books include the Angel Eyes trilogy, a supernatural foray into the realm of angels and demons, as well as the fantastical adventure novel Winter, White and Wicked. Its sequel, Rebel, Brave and Brutal is due out January 10, 2023.

Shannon’s stories feature strong female leads grappling with fear and faith as they venture into the wilds of the unknown. She’s often wondered if she’s writing her own quest for bravery again and again.

It’s a choice she values highly. Bravery. And she’s never more inspired than when young people ball up their fist and punch fear in the face.

To that end, Shannon takes great joy in working with young writers, both in person and online at Go Teen Writers, an instructional blog recognized by Writer’s Digest four years running as a “101 Best Websites for Writers” selection.

For more about Shannon and her books, please visit her websiteInstagramFacebookTwitter, and Pinterest.