One of the questions that always makes me squirm is, “What’s your book about?”
Cue panic and stammering!
But I’ve become much better in the last few years as I’ve worked on how to answer this even before I write the book.
In the publishing industry, you’ll noticed there are several kinds of “hooks” that are used to sell books. There are the epic kind that looks good on movie posters, like:
The Hunger Games: Winning means fame and fortune. Losing means certain death.
Divergent: One choice can transform you.
Incarceron: This prison is alive.
Within These Lines: Torn apart by war. Held together by hope.
These are useful for inciting curiosity in ads or on cover art, but they aren’t really used for selling your book to an agent, editor, or potential reader.
Another type of super short hook is what I think of as a concept hook:
Twilight: Romeo and Juliet, but with vampires
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Conveniently, they put the hook right in the title. Same with Cowboys and Aliens.
The Lost Girl of Astor Street: Veronica Mars set in the 1920s
Winter, White and Wicked by our own Shannon Dittemore: Frozen meets Mad Max: Fury Road
These are helpful and have their place, even when it comes to selling. When I’m asked what Lost Girl is about, I frequently start with, “Veronica Mars set in the 1920s.”
But these two varieties are introductory type hooks, meant to get your potential reader interested enough to learn more about your story.
Let’s look at the ultra short book description type of hooks. You’ll hear these referred to as log lines, one lines, elevator pitches, or hook sentences. I like that last one because it reminds me of what my actual job is–to hook my audience.
These sentences get used in a variety of ways. First, you’ll use it when you’re describing your book to others, whether at a signing or family reunion. Because obviously you need more than one of those movie poster type hooks. If someone says, “Hey, Katie, what’s your book about?” You don’t want to just say, “The prison is alive,” even thought that looks pretty sweet on a book cover.
Your hook should:
- Be short
- Hint at emotion or tone of story
- Be genre specific
- Incite curiosity
Jill Williamson shared this formula in a blog post ages ago, and I still use this to get myself started. Start by listing:
- Inciting incident
- Character + adjective
- The hero’s (primal) story goal
- What’s at stake
And then craft a sentence using these formulas:
When 1 happens to 2 he must 3 before 4 happens.
Or this:
A 2 does/experiences 1 and must 3 before 4 happens.
Again, this is meant to be a jumping off point, not a perfect formula. If your story is fantasy, sci fi, or historical, you’ll want to work in your unique storyworld too. So for The Lost Girl of Astor Street, my starting point would be:
In Jazz age Chicago, a spirited teenage girl’s best friend goes missing, and she must find her before it’s too late.
That’s boring, but it helps identify the core of the story. Now I can rework it and write option after option, until I finally land on this:
When her best friend is abducted during the summer of 1924, seventeen-year-old Piper Sail hunts for answers amidst the corruption that strangles Chicago, but she has to decide just how much she’s willing to sacrifice for the truth when her amateur sleuthing skills lead her back to her own front door.
Written out, this looks great. But I also need to be able to speak it because no way am I spouting that off word for word. Instead, if I’m asked what my book is about, I’ll say something along the lines of:
“It’s like Veronica Mars but set in the 1920s. My main character lives in an affluent Chicago neighborhood, and when her best friend goes missing, she’s determined to find her. But her poking around the secret lives of her neighbors puts her in a dangerous situation.”
And then I make myself stop talking. That’s the hardest part sometimes.
I used to wait to write these until I couldn’t put it off any longer. Now I write my hook sentence early on when I’m brainstorming because it helps me to know the core of my story, and it also helps me sound intelligent when my agent or editor asks, “What are you thinking for this next book?”
Want to give it a try? Leave your own hook in the comments!
When the king of Cressender dies, leaving no heir, Darren Altonson competes for the crown. Winning means becoming king. Losing is synonymous with death.
Sounds great! Can’t wait to read it one day.
Thank you so much!
Sounds good! Can’t wait to pick that one up from the bookstore someday!
Thank you so much!
Thank you!
Sounds cool. I’m curious to see what sort of competition your character is facing.
Thank you!
Definitely piques my interest! Nice work! I wonder if being more specific about the competition could make your story sound even more unique.
Thank you for the feedback!
A retired pyromancer is bribed back into action to fight a former pupil gone rogue, but victory requires destroying everything he has ever worked for.
This, by the way, is an excellent post. It will help me when I get asked, yet again, what my book is about and have to remember to improve on the last time I answered. 😛
Umm, yes please! Fire is not my strong suit in fantasy, but this looks like an interesting struggle!
Interesting. You even managed to work the book’s internal and external struggles into a single sentence. Nicely done.
Oooh, this looks very interesting!
I’m glad the post was helpful to you! Learning how to describe my own stories has been a long journey for me.
Wow! I’d definitely read that!
HOOK SENTENCE: When easily-worried Lee Boord delivers a weird message from a creepy bald man to his long-time friend and father-figure, he must risk more than he’s ever dared to find out if his actual father is still alive before Lee loses him again…and before he manages to incite the wrath of his merciless new employer.
Thank you SO MUCH for this post! I also have a hard time keeping quiet about my story ideas, especially if I need to brainstorm for them. Lol!
Ooh. You have my attention.
Oh, this sounds interesting! I think we could strengthen it by trimming a few words, which would help show the focus of the story. Is the bulk of the story about delivering the message, or is it about finding his father, or is it about the wrath of his employer? I think it’s about his father, but it’s a little hard to tell because of how many words are devoted to the message he delivers to a father-figure, and then the employer seems tossed in at the end.
For my WIP:
When Aster stumbles into Fairyland with her cousin, her first reaction is shock. But as the day continues, she finds out the only way to get home is through a war-zone. Will she be willing to throw caution to the wind to get home, endangering her, her cousin and the friends she has come to love, or will she instead risk old friendships to stay in this new and strange world?
Ooo. I really like this. Is Aster you?
No, she’s not. I just liked the name!
Interesting. I’d definitely like to see where this goes.
Thanks!
This is a good start, Aster! I think we could trim words to make it sound a bit more compelling, and I’d advise getting rid of “throw caution to the wind” since it’s a cliche. I also think it would be wise to make it more clear if Aster is a contemporary girl and what kind of place Fairyland is. So for example:
When a modern day girl and her cousin are unexpectedly transported into a dangerous world where fairies are at war, they will have to decide if they’re willing to risk their own safety to help, and if it’s worth the chance that they may never get home.
That example may not actually express your story well, but hopefully it shows you what I mean!
Ok, thank you!
Ooh, this sounds interesting!
This post was very helpful. I never know how to describe my book to others when they ask and I always feel really stupid no matter what I say.
My “movie poster hook” (and a quote that I want one of my characters to say) is “Curses are made to be broken.”
Now that I think about it better, I guess my elevator pitch would sound something like this.
“A small island in the center of a lake has been the subject of local legends for almost a century. But when those who live near the lake try to see if these stories hold any truth, they get more than they bargained for: a disembodied voice, an old box that seems to have a life of its own, and a curse with a rapidly approaching deadline. If they don’t unlock the box’s secrets and destroy the curse before then, they’ll find themselves and those around them in a fate worse than death.”
Ooh…nice! I especially like the “curses are made to be broken.” That’s very intriguing and could turn into many fun and exciting things.
I often feel stupid when trying to describe my book too. But at least practicing helps! Better to try and learn than to have played it safe and never tried.
So true, David! I’m liking your “movie poster hook” a lot!
I love curses are made to be broken! Well done!
I think this is a good start on your elevator pitch. It would be wise to make your main character more clear, I think, instead of all the plural language. Something like, “When Jane and her friends decide to see if the legends about the supposedly haunted island hold any truth…”
I think this sounds like an absolutely fascinating book! I’d read it!
Thanks guys. 🙂
And thanks for the feedback Stephanie. It’ll be hard to find the best way to word it because I have two equally important POVCs and they go at different times. I’m sure I’ll get it with a little more thought though. 🙂
Thanks so much for posting about this, Stephanie! As others have mentioned, talking about our stories to others can be scary. It’s very helpful the way you kind of walked through how to develop a hook sentence and how to make it more conversational.
Thank you, David! We’re in this together!
When Atticus’s mother disappears, he is sent to a boarding school that his father insists will keep him safe. But the school turns out to be the most dangerous place for Atticus. After discovering a journal written by his mother, Atticus is hunted down by the exiled king and the tyrant queen of the stars. Tangled in the king and queen’s fight for the throne, Atticus must uncover the secrets his mother left behind or be consumed by their lust for revenge.
This is all good stuff, just loooong for a hook sentence. I think you could simply to, “When Atticus’s mother disappears, he’s hunted down by the exiled king and tyrant queen of the stars, and he must uncover the secrets his mother left behind or be consumed by their lust for revenge.”
Oooh. This sounds really cool. I like the whole concept behind “tyrant queen of the stars”.
I think I agree with Stephanie about condensing it for a hook sentence, but what you have would be really perfect for your back cover copy.
I agree! This would be an amazing back cover copy!
I like the idea of a tyrant queen of stars! It’s brilliant! (literally!) But seriously, it bodes well. Can’t wait to read this!
Thank you so much, everyone, and thank you for the feedback, Stephanie! I really appreciate it!
When Heather wakes up and can’t remember where she is, how she got there or anything in general except for her first name she decided that she has to find out how to get them back and find out how they disappeared in the first place. But not remembering who she is is the least of her problems. There are trolls that want to kill her, fairies at war, princesses, monsters, evil twin sisters, and magical creatures that shouldn’t even be real. Everything seems to be from a fairy tale. Will Heather be able to get her memories back and if she does will she be able to embrace who she really is?
Ariel, this is great back-cover copy, but long for a hook sentence! Try identifying the main conflict (is it staying alive in this new world? Is it figuring out who she is?) and limiting yourself to one sentence. I know it’s hard!
I agree, how ever, I would love to read this book. Is there a specific place on this site where followers can post if they get published, because I’ve seen a lot of books that I would love to read.
It sounds like you’ve built a really interesting story world!
Zilla and her best friend, Cinderella attend the prince’s ball together. But only one girl can become his bride … does that make every other girl an ugly step-sister?
kinda long, but the best I could come up with now ;p
MB: keturahskorner.blogspot.com
PB: thegirlwhodoesntexist.com
This is a great start, Keturah! I love this concept. Maybe it could use more about the stakes? Like what bad thing happens to the girl who doesn’t get picked?
This is really fun! I like it! Zilla’s best friends with Cinderella? This could get interesting fast!
Jay never expected to meet anyone else left behind after the Great Evacuation, but then he meets a girl over the internet–a girl who might have developed a cure to the toxins in the air, the same ones that prompted the mass exodus from Earth three years ago. He decides to find her; but roads are bad, food is scarce, and Jay only has one month left before it’s too late and death finally catches up with him.
Oohh, this is good! I really like the concept and the stakes are raised almost immediately. This is great!
Thank you!
Wow, this is great stuff! It’s too long for a hook sentence, but great for the back-cover! For a hook, I would shorten it to something like:
Jay thought he was alone after the Great Evacuation, but when he meets a girl over the internet who may have the cure he needs to survive, he’ll use the predicted last month of his life to overcome the distance and apocalyptic landscape between them.
This needs wordsmithing still, but this is about the length you’ll want to aim for.
Ok, thanks for the advice!
After her estranged sister returns home, bringing drama with her, a sheltered teen is forced to enter the real world, the one her father has tried hard to keep her away from.
I like this, Emma Leigh! I think it would be stronger if the stakes were clearer. What happens, or could potentially happen, with her no longer being sheltered?
After her estranged sister returns home, bringing drama with her, a sheltered teen is forced to enter the real world, the one her father, certain that he’ll lose her too, has tried hard to keep her away from.
Oh, that’s good, Emma! I like it!
The Wolf Hunters have killed everyone, and ancient myth is turning into reality. The Demon King is on the rise.
I’m really bad at this stuff, but I think this should work.