Writers, it’s only been a week since my last post, but I feel like I’m writing to you from a different planet. Or like I got plopped down in an apocalyptic novel of Jill Williamson’s, and I don’t like it that much in here. (Love you AND your books, Jill!)
I know not all of us feel like our life just got upturned. I was talking to author and friend Roseanna White about how comically normal her day-to-day life feels despite everything going on. She lives in the country in West Virginia where both she and her husband work from home and homeschool their kids. There’s no toilet paper in her grocery store, but otherwise life is pretty normal.
But for those of us who are not sick and just wiped every commitment off our calendar—going to class, seeing a movie with friends, volunteering at church, softball practice, a spring break vacation—we’re all trying to get our bearings. I’m grieving the loss of some things I had anticipated, like my daughter’s elementary school graduation, and I’m trying to navigate my new normal. It hasn’t been a very graceful process.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the incarceration of the Japanese Americans as I wrestle with my feelings of, “But this isn’t how 2020 was supposed to be!” I keep thinking about this story I read in one of the memoirs, Looking Like The Enemy.
I don’t remember exactly how the story goes, and I can’t fact check it right now since the library is closed, so we’ll just have to make due with the essence of the story and forgive some details that might be off.
The author was in high school during the incarceration, and her family was removed from their strawberry farm in Washington and sent to several different camps. Like all the families, they struggled with the injustice, the lack of control, the unknown future, and the longing for their old life.
One night, her mother sat them all down and said words to the effect of, “When we leave this place, what story do we want to tell about it?” They went around the table and shared things like, “I want to be able to say we were brave and we stuck together as a family.” Or, “I want to say we were strong and persevered.”
That conversation guided the decisions they made while in the camps, and twenty years later, when her mother was dying and they were all back on their farm together, the daughter reflected that the stories they’d hoped to tell about their experience in the camps were now true. They had persevered. They had come through as a strong family.
That story kept coming back to me this week as my family grieved and adjusted. I’m sure we’re not done grieving and adjusting, but I’m trying to turn the corner to answer that question, “What story do I want to tell about this time?”
Do I want my story to be that I watched a lot of TV and scrolled a lot of social media? Or that I half-heartedly got my kids through the curriculum the teachers sent home? That I was so mentally stuck on what I lost that I couldn’t enjoy the opportunities handed to me?
Of course I don’t want that to be my story.
I want to tell stories about how much fun we had as a family. How we took advantage of the extra time together by learning new things, working on skills that we usually don’t have time for, and made space for being silly because we weren’t constantly rushing off to work/swimming/violin.
I want to point to a novel and say, “I wrote that during the COVID19 pandemic.” I want my kids to say, “During the pandemic, my mom taught me to cook this.” And maybe our story will be, “We got sick, and we took care of each other.” We don’t know yet.
Because this sentiment is strong in our hearts, we made a list as a family of fun things we want to do, ways we want to grow, restaurants we want to support, and movies we want to watch. We’re thinking about the stories we want to tell after, and we’re doing our best to make decisions now that will create those stories.
Whether you’re deeply affected by the pandemic or not so much, what story do you want to tell about Spring of 2020? What decisions can you make that will help you to tell that story?
This is a really good post! Thank you Stephanie. We should all be thinking about (whether we’re writers or not) what we want to come out of this – that we can control. Should we binge on Netflix for the next few weeks or take advantage of having our entire family home? Really good things to think about.
And I certainly have nothing against a little binge watching now and again 🙂 But, yes, I don’t really want to come out on the other side of this and say, “I accomplished watching everything on Netflix’s database and never getting out of my pajamas!”
As writers, we all know that trouble is what makes a story interesting and what our main character does in them show the real grit in his soul.
I think I’d like my story to show how my family took advantage of our time together to enjoy each other’s company and do productive things that helped us and our neighbors. Maybe the way our garden became more important could illustrate a theme throughout the book.
Most importantly though, I think I want my story to show how I thought about the pestilence after David’s census, or after Korah’s rebellion against authority and acted on it. I realized God allowed the virus to remind us this is a sinful world that needs to turn away from sin and back to him. I’d want it to show that I searched my soul and turned away from my own sins and came away better prepared for the life He wants me to have – and endured.
Very wise insights, Jack. I really don’t like struggle, pain, or conflict, but as writers we all know that’s what grows a character and makes their story worth reading.
Amen
This was so inspiring. I have been pretty bummed about this whole virus thing. My freshman year of college got cut short because of it, and there are so many experiences big and small that I will miss and never get back. But you’re right. This is a pivotal moment in our history, and when I look back on it, I want to be able to say that I made the most of this time. I want to say that I was attentive to the world around me and that I found joy and accomplished goals. In losing a lot, I guess I also gained a lot. This strange and disrupted time is rich in opportunities. I now feel more energized to make the most of them. Thank you.
Stay safe everyone.
I’m so sorry about your college year being cut short, Em. You’re right that you won’t be able to get those times back. We’re in a similar boat with my daughter, who is in her last semester of elementary school. She keeps thinking of things she’s seen the previous sixth grade classes get to do, and feeling sad that she won’t get that same experience. We can’t change that, and it’s worth mourning. We have times around here that we feel energized and excited, and others when we feel bummed out. Both are okay!
Oh Stephanie that post was so beautiful! I was already homeschooled, so my life hasn’t changed much. The worst part is not being able to go to church. I want my story to be that instead of pouting about what is lost and fearing the unknown future, I trusted God and did my part by staying home. And that I didn’t waist all the extra time just watching movies and keeping up with news (though they are good in their place?) but spent time writing and encouraging others.
I’ve really missed church too. We’ve enjoyed watching our services online as a family, and I appreciate the chance to do that even though I miss being there. Sounds like you have a great perspective!
This was a great post!
School keeps getting pushed back further away, so I’ve had a lot of time to work on writing, watch classic movies with my parents, read, play video games with my siblings, think (never a good thing), play outside with my siblings, take care of our new baby birds, glare at my siblings, ect.
As much as I don’t like the social distancing part of this quarantine, for the most part it’s been fun. My parents have been encouraging us to keep journals about what we do each day, and it’s helping my writing a lot.
It has been a bummer, because my brother’s birthday is today, and a ton of our family members were going to be coming, but now it’s canceled. I helps to think that people will be talking about this and I’ll be able to tell them what I’ve been doing to not go crazy.
Sorry about your brother’s birthday. It’s such a hard time to celebrate in special ways! Can’t hardly buy flour to make a cake here in Kansas City. Sounds like you are really making the most of your unexpected time off. I love that your parents are having you journal!
This is a gteat question to think about. Everything is changing so quickly, its hard to comprehend.
Ive been focusing mistlyon flash fiction & short stories & sometimes brainstorming book ideas. Any increase in them would be great 🙂 i keep seeing the memes about Shakespeare & others who did great things during a pandemic, like no pressure or anything ?
It really is changing so fast. Last week felt approximately a thousand years long.
Memes right now either seem to want us to be Shakespeare or to be grateful for extra pajama time. I need something in the middle!
The story of the Japanese Americans is so inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve been working a lot of keeping a positive mindset in all of this corona-crazy, (as I’ve taken to calling it.) It’s so nice to find that encouragement here.
Oh wow, what a powerful thought! Thank you so much for sharing. I need this today!
So far, I’m needing the reminder EVERY DAY. I was feeling super frustrated and tired yesterday and just kept internally chanting, “What story do I want to tell?”
This post is so timely. I for sure want to use my time well. I haven’t written an entire book yet. I’ve played with a few short stories & tried to brainstorm books but they’ve never fully gotten off the ground.
My goal this year has been to learn the craft of writing. I’ve read and taken notes from 7 craft books so fart. When all this stay at home stuff started, I added even more craft books tbr list & have been reading them!!
Today, I feel like my head is spinning and I’m starting to wonder if reading all these books is the best thing to do? I’m writing a little bit but have focused on learning.
Can your education outweigh your skills? I’m a little torn right now & wondering if I should stop reading craft books the next few weeks to write & edit? I mean, is there any point in collecting other people’s methods if I have tried them out to know if I like them? I feel lost!
I haven’t read a lot of craft books, but I think if your head is spinning from them, maybe a break would be good. Because getting creative and writing on our own can teach us so much too! Plus then you can try out what you’ve learned and see what works and what doesn’t. And you’ll develop your own process after a while too, because all writers are different. 🙂
I hope your writing goes well!
I agree with what Xoe said.
Craft books can be amazing and I have so many that I’m grateful for. Same for writing conferences, podcasts, and blogs. BUT they can also be a “hiding place” for me. It feels productive because I’m learning about writing, but actually I’m hiding from the difficult and vulnerable work of putting words on the page.
As helpful as writing instruction is, I’ve always learned more from actually doing. I would switch to that, Felicity!
Such inspiring words! I’ve been thinking about all the things I couldn’t do when life was crazy, and trying to fit more of that into my time. Getting into a writing habit, etc.
Thank you for this post!
radiantwords.wixsite.com/blog
I’m so glad you’re already doing this, Abigail!