Exciting news! Go Teen Writers has again made Writer’s Digest’s list of the best websites for writers! We feel so honored by this. Subscribing to Writer’s Digest was one of the first things I did in my journey to publication, so it’s always a bit surreal to see us listed as a resource.
Go Teen Writers a special place to be because of YOU ALL. Thank you for hanging out with us and letting us be a part of your writing journeys!
Onto today’s post!
When my husband and I bought our house thirteen years ago, one of my favorite things about it was the small room off the laundry room. This room was listed as a bedroom, but that seemed like too generous of a label for it. “Stephanie’s office,” however, suited the room perfectly. It’s tucked away in the corner of the house and has some weird ledges and cutouts that would be odd for a bedroom, but work fine for fitting a desk, a few roller drawers, and built-in shelving.
There’s also a door that closes. That’s an excellent feature for someone who works from home.
We hadn’t lived here long when I painted the room a color called “spiced cider” and put up a bulletin board that takes up quite a bit of wall space. My husband installed shelves behind my desk that were both practical and lovely. It’s a great office, and it’s served me well, but I’ve been itching to freshen it up.
Last Friday, to prepare for a weekend of painting, I snapped the “Before” picture you see on the left. Then I carried armloads of books to the basement and loaded a laundry basket with treasures from my shelves. I took down pictures and quotes and homemade gifts from my kids. As I carried it all out, the thought struck me, “I won’t need to bring all of this back in. It’s time to let go of some things.”
When one of my kids gets the urge to redo their room, it’s because something about their bedroom doesn’t reflect their current season of life. With how rapidly kids change, this makes sense. Of course my 13 year old wants her room to feel different than she did when she was 7 and initially picked out everything. That seems obvious.
But I didn’t recognize the same thing in myself initially. I didn’t realize that my interest in refreshing my office was because I moved into this space when I was very pregnant and unpublished. I’m now a mom of three and multi-published. I’ve changed over the years, and along the way, I accumulated all kinds of things. Many were good, but some need to be released.
What about you? Young writers change and grow so rapidly that it wouldn’t surprise me if you also have ideas, beliefs, or stuff that no longer serves you.
Maybe it’s some limiting beliefs about what a real writer looks like. Like, “a real writer writes every day.” Or “a real writer is published.” Or “a real writer wears all black and scowls at the world.”
Maybe it’s perfectionism. You have the story idea you want to write, but you’re afraid you won’t write it well, and so you never get started.
Maybe it’s a cutting comment made by a critique partner.
Maybe it’s excuses. “I don’t have an office with a closed door, so I can’t write.” Or “I don’t have peace for more than five minutes at a time, I can’t write.”
Maybe it’s not something bad, but something great. A poem or short story that you had published, or a story you wrote for creative writing and got an A on. Maybe you’re still so hung up on having written something great that you’re struggling to write something else now. That’s happened to me before. I had a hard time letting go of the experience of writing and publishing Within These Lines.
It could also be literal material stuff you need to get rid of, of course. In the book Fierce on the Page, Sage Cohen talks about a season where she intentionally cleaned out much of the “unaddressed clutter” of her life. Computer files she no longer needed, thousands of emails she’d never read, clothes that hadn’t fit for decades, and so forth. She reflects:
“The impact was dramatic. I felt light, energized, and unburdened of old stories, relationships, and interpretations of myself that no longer fit. . . . And in those freshly ordered drawers, spacious closets, shelves with room for new interests, and rooms liberated from the expired detritus of the past, seeds began to stir beneath the surface of my life.”
My office is now painted a lovely shade of “rain drop” and I’m in the process of putting it back together. As I refill my space, I’m keeping my thoughts on the future. Will this item serve me as I pursue my ambitions, or is it an “expired detritus of the past” that I need to let go of?
You know what’s really funny? Even though I knew I wanted to stay open to change, I went into a huge funk when my husband put up two of my six shelves before telling me he didn’t think they could go back up the way they had before. That they weren’t holding onto the wall and could fall easily.
“No, I need my shelves,” I insisted. “My books have to go somewhere.”
Yes, the books do need to go somewhere and we’re out of shelf space everywhere else in the house, but isn’t it funny how quickly I reverted to, “No, it has to be like it was before”? Despite how committed I’d been to the office refresh being about change? (As a happy aside, he did find a new way to hang the shelves, so my panicky funk was all for nothing.)
Sometimes letting go is as easy as deleting a computer file that you no longer need. You realize you don’t need it, and the next moment it’s gone. Easy peasy.
But sometimes letting go is a much longer process. If you’re like me, you long for that dramatic reveal. The before and after photo, where “after” looks beautiful and put together. I want the big reveal at the end of the home modeling show, you know? I often begrudge the middle. The process.
But just like our characters who have to work hard for their happy ending, sometimes we too will have to stay under construction longer than we’d like. Sometimes letting go of something will take us a while.
Here are a few things that I’m ready to let go of:
The word “should.” I rarely use this word in a kind way. I should be doing more school visits. I should read more. I should post book reviews. I’m all for identifying areas that I want to grow, but I’m tired of living under the weight of “should.”
Comparing. *Gulp.* This is a big one for me. In my effort to learn from and support other creatives, I often slide the slippery slope into comparison.
Anything in my office that doesn’t serve a practical purpose or “spark joy.” I like to write in a clean and clutter-free environment. My kids are adorable about making gifts for my shelves, but it’s time to clear those out of my office and put them in a keepsake box.
What about you? Is there something in your writing life that needs to change? Is there something weighing you down that it’s time to release?
First, the pics of your children are adorable!!
I don’t have very much of a writing office. It’s currently combined with my school office.
But I have been cleaning my room out big time and it feels so good!!!
The only mentally thing I need to get rid of is pushing my story off. I have so many small things that need to be written (backstory and map stuff) before I actually write the story. I continually push it off because it’s very overwhelming, but that needs to be my motivation instead of excuse.
Aww, thanks! My kids are pretty cute 🙂
Yes, until I had a house, my writing space was always a desk shoved in the corner of my bedroom. Nothing wrong with that! I do love the feeling of cleaning stuff out.
Thinking about all those smaller details that need to be filled in can definitely be overwhelming. Hopefully if you chip away at them, your momentum will build!
I can definitely identify with your statements on perfectionism and “what a writer looks like.” The perfectionist delay of “I’ll do it when I can do it right” seems harmless enough, but I can keep one off track for longer than I ever realized. For a lighthearted example, when I was about six my parents gave me this coloring book Bible. I was so scared of coloring outside the lines or changing my mind about what writing utensil to use (crayon? pencil? marker?) that I didn’t color it at all. “Next year,” I’d tell myself, “When I’m a big kid and ‘have it all together.'” Every so often take it off the shelf, flip through the pages, and set it back, still not confident enough to start. The sad and frightening truth is, I am well into my teen years and that little Bible coloring book is still on my shelf, blank and empty. I can see myself beginning this same pattern of never in the realm of writing too. That I don’t know enough to start, that it won’t be perfect, that I can’t do it yet— but I don’t want the stories in my mind to end up like that coloring book, just notes in a notebook. I’ve got to start coloring, even if it is outsides the lines a little bit, even if my writing process doesn’t look like that of a published author.
Wow, that is a long comment. I hope it was encouraging to some of you wonderful teen writers!! You may not do everything perfectly, but the only way to have an adventure is to begin! 😀
Oh, I SOOOOO get this. And I bet a number of Go Teen Writers friends are nodding along as they read it too! I’ve dealt with my own battles of perfectionism and wrote a blog post you might find helpful: https://goteenwriters.com/2018/10/29/perfectionism-and-writing-how-to-embrace-good-enough-so-you-can-actually-get-stuff-done/
Figuring out the concept of messy first drafts is what finally got me unstuck as a writer. I hope you will find what works for you as well! Your coloring book is an excellent illustration to motivate you, because I promise you when you’re in your 20s and 30s, you do NOT want to be looking at all the empty Word docs on your computer thinking, “I still haven’t written that book because I was afraid.”
I love the blue walls. I think the change will be inspiring!!
I’ve really been trying to quiet and let go of the critical voice saying I’ll never write well enough. It’s been a major battle lately.
I hate that voice. Many of us struggle with getting it to quiet down so we can get some work done. I usually tell mine, “I can’t edit what I don’t write. Come back and be helpful during edits.”
Yes, I like the color too! My daughter picked it out for her room, and we wound up with an extra gallon of it. It feels very fresh and joyful.
I relate to this. I’m actually planning to do some of that deep, decluttering cleaning this summer. It will be hard for me. I’m extremely sentimental. The entire bottom drawer of my file cabinet has manila folders for both my kids, from grades K through 12. Inside each are things I kept. That’s a lot of space! And that’s only one example. I plan to start with my books. I have way too many for this house, and I know I will not read them all again. But our little house is just too small. We keep bringing things into it and not having enough exit. The walls feel as though they are closing in. It is not a good feeling. And so let go I must! Thank you for setting a good example, Steph. I will remember you this summer when I am holding too tightly to some very old things. 😉
I SO wish I could come over and help with your decluttering!
Starting with your books sounds like a good idea. Donating books isn’t my favorite, but I’ve done it a couple times because we didn’t have money or space for more shelves. And it’s so hard to know what to do with kids artwork and school assignments! One idea I was given is to keep a few pieces that are representative of that grade, and then take pictures of the other things before you get rid of them.
I think I struggle the most with items that were gifts. It feels a little mean to get rid of something that was thoughtfully purchased for me.
I am definitely guilty of holding on to too many things, both material and otherwise.
In terms of the physical things that I hold on to, it stems from a combination of sentimentality and “But what if I need it later?” I have a whole pile of papers from middle school somewhere in my room that I kept because I thought they’d be useful “somewhere down the line”, shirts that I never wear but think I might, and projects that I started that I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever finish. The only time I ever touch them is when I’m relocating them in yet another attempt at organization. Hopefully at some point this summer I can get down to business and make some serious decisions about what I actually NEED to keep so I can make room for things that I’ll actually use.
When it comes to getting rid of nonphysical things, like negative thoughts (writing related or otherwise), I find that journaling helps a lot. When I write out what my problems are and what I think the causes might be, it helps me reach some really helpful conclusions, and it feels like a weight off my chest. If you need a way to declutter your mind a bit, I recommend giving this a whirl. Not saying it will work for everyone, since brains all work differently, but it’s worth a shot!
Best of luck to all of you letting go of whatever you need to let go of!
Journaling is a wonderful suggestion! I have also found that to be really helpful. I’m so glad you mentioned it!
And yes, it’s really easy to think, “But I might need this later.” And I’ve definitely given away things that later I thought, “Oh, did I give that away? I’d like to have that back.” But it’s not very often. You’ve probably already heard the suggestion to put it in a box in the basement or a closet for a set amount of time? Then after a year, if you’ve never gotten anything out, donate it without looking inside. (I would have to look inside, because that would scare me, but I understand the idea behind not looking!)