Most writers understand that when you work for yourself, as all novelists do, you need to be self-motivated and disciplined. Even when you have an agent or editor, there’s nobody looking over your shoulder and telling you to write your book instead of watching Netflix all day. You are the only one in charge of you.

My husband is a boss in the corporate world and has been for a number of years. While on the surface his job is to manage the projects his group works on, and make sure the engineers and designers have everything they need to do their work, one of his biggest responsibilities is to care for the mental state of his team. While he takes all parts of his job seriously, he feels especially invested in this aspect.

And as I considered this, it occurred to me that I, too, need to take this part of job seriously. Here at Stephanie Morrill Author, Incorporated there’s nobody but me. Trash needs to go out? That’s on me. Book needs to be written? Me, again. Website is down? I’m on it. Feeling burned out? Oh, look. That’s my responsibility too.

Yes, I need to be self-motivated, disciplined, organized, and all those other things that are important when you are self-employed. But I’m also in charge of my emotional and mental state as a writer. I am in charge of my own morale.

If you’re like me and nobody asks you to write—you do it because you love it—then you probably don’t need pep talks on getting stuff done and generating content. I would guess instead you need to practice being a good boss. Yes, a good boss pushes employees when he or she knows they can do better, but a good boss also offers grace at the right moments. A good boss may need to drive a team through a season of hard work, but then knows to offer rest and rewards on the other side. We all want to work for good bosses, right? As writers, we have to learn how to be good bosses to ourselves.

Here are 6 ways that I keep Stephanie Morrill the writer happy, healthy, and ultimately more productive:

1. I reward myself for milestones.

There are precious few really big moments in a book’s life. You can only get The Call from an agent or raving feedback from a critique partner so many times, right? With big undertakings like writing a novel, it’s important to note and celebrate progress along the way.

One small way I do that is by jotting down how many words I’ve written that day. Sometimes I do this in a spreadsheet, but currently I keep a Post-it note beside my computer and note my word count there.

Some writers eat an m&m every 1,000 words or only get to watch their favorite show that day if they’ve hit their daily quota. I personally love the satisfaction of checking “Write 1,000 words” off my to-do list and haven’t needed much else to keep me happy.

For bigger milestones, like finishing a manuscript, I might grab some ice cream or give myself the afternoon to read in my hammock. Rewards are personal, so make sure it’s something that feels rewarding to you.

2. I nourish my work relationships.

Even though I don’t have any official coworkers, I have other friends who are writers, and I’m so grateful for them. There are some days that chatting with them is what made my work day feel worthwhile.

Connecting with my writer friends energizes me. Not only are they able to help me with plot troubles or promotions, but they’re amazing emotional support on days I’m feeling blue. They’re great about saying, “Hey, I’ve been there too, and it’s tough. We’ll get through this together.”

3. And my not-work relationships.

Even though there’s nothing like writer friends who understand the ins-and-outs of my weird work, I also think it’s critical to have good friends who don’t care at all that you’re a writer.

As creatives it can be very easy to tie our identity to our work and success (or lack-thereof). There’s great value for me in having friends who are indifferent to what I do for a living. They care and they’re supportive, but nothing about our relationship would change if I quit writing novels.

4. I protect my rest time.

A common struggle for working from home, whether it’s for a company or for yourself, is not having good boundaries between work time and personal time. I’ve struggled with this during certain seasons of my life, especially when my kids were younger and I worked a lot in the evenings after they went to bed. Actually, in the original version of this post (written in 2016 when my kids were 8, 6, and 1) I had apparently been struggling with this quite I bit:

Like last Thursday night. I often work at night, but by the time I got the kids in bed and the house somewhat picked up, I was tired. So instead of answering a few emails or finishing that scene I started earlier in the day, I watched an episode of Gilmore Girls.

And then I spent the rest of the night feeling horribly guilty over my choice to rest instead of work. That’s not okay. Having time away from work is a really healthy thing, even when you love what you do.

https://goteenwriters.com/2016/12/05/one-thing-no-one-told-me-about-being-my-own-boss/

I certainly have seasons where I have to work weird hours or work more often than normal, like when a book is about to be due or is about to release. But mostly I relegate work time to the hours I’ve established for working so that I’m free to enjoy not working as well. That’s one of the ways I keep my creative cup full!

5. I own my priorities.

If you don’t take the time to set your priorities, somebody else will.

I become a very frustrated writer on days when I accidentally let others influence my priorities too much. Just about every week, I receive emails with subject lines like, “Urgent!” or “Please respond ASAP!” Often, I care about the senders and my responses to them are time-sensitive. But rarely is it actually urgent or something I need to respond to immediately.

I’ve learned a lot over the years about not allowing somebody else’s agenda for me override the agenda I set for myself.

6. I only take responsibility for what is actually my responsibility.

There are lots of things that I have control over. Writing the best story I possibly can. Creating the most interesting blog posts or social media updates that I’m capable of. Doing my best work when it’s time to work.

But I can’t control if somebody chooses to buy my book or read my blog post, right? I can do my best to influence it, of course, but I can’t make them do it. (I’m glad you’re here! Thanks for making my effort feel worth it!)

Obsessing over something that isn’t really mine to own (Why were there not more likes? How come that writer got a book contract and I didn’t?) drains my creative cup faster than anything else. In those situations, I have to ask myself, “Is this something I can control or influence, or no?” Identifying which category my obsession belongs in often brings peace to the situation and keeps me from spinning out entirely.

How do you take care of yourself as a writer?

Stephanie Morrill writes books about girls who are on an adventure to discover their unique place in the world. She is the author of several contemporary young adult series, as well as two historical young adult novels, The Lost Girl of Astor Street and Within These Lines. Within These Lines was a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard selection, as well as a YALSA 2020 Best Fiction for Young Adults pick. Since 2010, Stephanie has been encouraging the next generation of writers at her website, GoTeenWriters.com, which has been on the Writer’s Digest Best Websites for Writers list since 2017. She lives in the Kansas City area, where she loves plotting big and small adventures to enjoy with her husband and three children. You can connect with Stephanie and learn more about her books at StephanieMorrill.com, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.